Getting to know someone online

by Eharmony Editorial Team - November 24, 2009

In some ways meeting someone on a dating website can be a strange experience. How do you stand out from all the other profiles, and keep communication flowing until your first date, and beyond?

Dating websites are a brilliant addition to the evolution of dating in our modern, busy lives. But with them come new concerns about how to communicate the best of your personality with someone you’ve never met before.  And, how do you continue to do this up until your first real date – and beyond? Here are some essential rules to remember when meeting someone online.

Online dating isn’t a substitute

Firstly, let’s define what online dating is. Dating websites are a great way to meet people you’d never otherwise meet, widening your potential dating pool massively.  You can communicate with lots of different types of people and qualify those that share your values and interests, before even meeting them in person.

But, it’s important to remember that exchanging emails and texts constitutes little more than virtual flirting.  In most people’s minds, there is no real relationship, and so if your match suddenly slows or even stops communication, try not to take it to heart. And also remember that the worst thing you can do is over-analyse why they’ve stopped communicating. There’s no point, and it’ll simply drive you crazy – notch it up to experience and move on.

Beware the instant connection

When you start sharing personal information with someone, it’s easy to feel like you have made a deep connection straight away. You may be emailing each other a few times a day, looking forward to your match’s emails. But, never assume that this will mean you will have the same connection in person. They may not talk how they write, and the chemistry may not be there.

Be unique and attractive

One of the hardest things about online dating is explaining how you’d like to move to the next via an email, without sounding pushy. A simple thing to remember is that if someone wants a date they’ll work towards it. You shouldn’t have to fish for it.

Also, try to resist asking if you’re ‘in a relationship’ yet, or pushing them to compliment you. One of the things many people encounter, and dislike, in their dating lives, is being pushed into relationship mode before they’ve think they’ve barely gotten to know them.