Harnessing the law of attraction


Whether it sounds like new-age-hippy-speak or old wives tales there are some universal truths in the world that maybe we should  all be aware of if we want to change our fortunes and attract more love and abundance into our lives.

Like attracts like

This is seen right throughout the animal kingdom and although human beings sometimes reverse the trend – opposites attract – there is still a lot of truth in it. It isn’t so much what you are presenting on the outside so much as how you feel on the inside that will attract the same to you. According to psychologists if you put a group of 100 strangers together in a room and asked them to sort themselves into four different groups, without talking to each other, people with very similar backgrounds, emotional histories and social class would be drawn to group together. This shows that much of what we respond to in each other is unconscious and unspoken, about 80% of communication is non-verbal.

This explains why when dating we place so much emphasis on the chemistry we feel when we are with someone. A match may look ideal on paper and tick all your boxes but if, when you meet them in person, something just doesn’t feel right it could be that they are not the same kind of person as you. This could be nature’s way of ensuring harmonious relationships and creating the best environment for raising children and these instincts are hard to override.

You are what you think – not what you think you are

There are many very attractive people who convince themselves that they are fat, ugly, unattractive or otherwise unlovable. The truth is that thinking this way often makes them act and behave as though they were these things and then their experience (maybe a string of broken relationships or lost jobs) begins to support their view of themselves – it’s a self-fulfilling prophesy. On the other hand there are many other people who suffer from things like facial disfigurements, disabilities and chronic illnesses that have really positive, affirming views of themselves and consequently are really attractive and living life to the full.

Thinking is a powerful tool and years of negative self-talk will have a detrimental effect on even the most beautiful and talented person. Take responsibility for how you talk to yourself. Imagine that inner voice was a separate person from you and that you had to spend the day with them – would you be able to tolerate them even for a day?

Happiness comes from the inside out

Sometimes we get caught up in the belief that if only we had the right partner we would feel more confident, sexy, intelligent, attractive and altogether a better person. While there is some truth in that, nobody can make us feel that way if we don’t first believe it a bit ourselves. The most another person can do is reflect back to us what we already know about ourselves and encourage and appreciate it in us.

We spend a great deal of our lives trying to make ourselves feel happy with external things. We may think if only I had a smaller waist, bigger house, faster car, better sex life, more money etc then I would be happy and my relationships would be perfect. We only need to look at certain celebrities like Seal and Heidi Klum to see that even when people have all of those things it doesn’t bring lasting contentment. The key to lasting happiness is to accept yourself as you are now and work to change any negative traits you believe you have into positive ones.

You reap what you sow

This is probably one of the most powerful laws of attraction and also one of the most hotly disputed. Whatever you are putting out into the world will come back to you tenfold – like a universal photocopier. People get upset by this idea when they feel their lives have been wrecked by circumstances completely beyond their control like bereavement, unemployment, illness and catastrophe. We are not suggesting that anybody has brought these events on themselves – bad things happen to good people each and every day – but how you cope, and how much support you have around you when things go wrong, will usually be in direct relation to how much you give to others.

In terms of dating if you approach every match, and every date, with an open mind and heart; treat people with kindness and respect regardless of whether you want to see them again; are honest and trustworthy in all your dealings; appreciative and grateful for the time you spend with people because you know that even a bad date can be a valuable learning experience; and enthusiastic and positive as you go through the process of trying to find someone you are almost guaranteed to be successful in attracting someone as lovely as you are.


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