How to tell if he’s just not that into you
Wondering whether a guy really likes you or not can make you feel crazy as you try to decipher his every word and gesture but sometimes its plain to see if you know what to look for.
Women usually have a strong intuition. They read people and rely on conversation to build intimacy in relationships. Men are different. They build intimacy by doing things and may be less inclined to wear their heart on their sleeve and tell you how they feel about you.
If you’re getting frustrated because your relationship isn’t moving forward as quickly as you would like, and your gut instinct tells you there’s something not right, look for these signs, it may be he’s just not that into you.
If a guy really likes you he will want to see you and will stick to the arrangements he has made. If, however you keep being blown off because he is busy, tired or wants to hang with his mates he’s not really interested.
He’s not ready for a relationship
If a man you’re dating tells you he isn’t ready for a relationship (with you) believe him. So many women make the mistake of thinking they can use their charms to change a man’s mind but it’s really a waste of time and energy. You should never have to persuade someone to go out with you, or hang around being his ‘friend’ until he sorts his act out enough to promote you to ‘girlfriend’. If a man’s into you he’ll be ready for a relationship because he knows if he isn’t he might miss a golden opportunity.
You’re not feeling it
Some men ‘say’ all the right things but somehow you don’t ‘feel’ like they’re genuine. All the sweet words in the world mean nothing unless they are followed up with actions. If a date leaves you feeling confused or, worst still, cold, then his head may be telling him it’s worth a go but his heart’s not in it.
If your guy blows hot and cold depending on how his day’s been or what the weather’s like the chances are that he is more absorbed with his own needs and feelings than he his with yours. Don’t hold onto an unhappy relationship because the rare occasion when the sun comes out is so special, you’re worth more than that.
He’s not into anything much
Some men are more like lost boys and the temptation for women is to snap into a mothering role where they scoop them up and make it all better. The sad reality is that you can’t bring joy and meaning to someone else’s life. You can enhance their life for sure but the rescue mission usually ends badly. This guy is looking for a mother not a partner.
He’s stuck in the past
In order for a man to be into you he needs to be present and available. He may be single on paper but if he’s still talking incessantly about his ex it may be he hasn’t healed enough to be able to have a relationship with you or anyone yet.
If you recognise your situation in any of the above scenarios you’re better off cutting your losses rather than hanging around hoping he’ll change and get into you one day.
If you’re wrong, and try to break it off with someone who really does like you, but is hopeless at showing it, you’ll create an opportunity for the relationship to move onto a deeper level.
“Here’s something else to think about: calling when you say you’re going to is the very first brick in the house you are building of love and trust. If he can’t lay this one stupid brick down, you ain’t never gonna have a house baby, and it’s cold outside.”
Greg Behrendt, He’s Just Not That Into You: The No-Excuses Truth to Understanding Guys
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