How to make 2012 your year for love

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Now the holiday festivities are well and truly behind us its time to turn our attention to the year ahead. Along with all the noble resolutions for a happier, healthier body and mind many people will be hoping 2012 is the year in which they find love. Here are some tips to set you on the right path.

Be proactive

Good things don’t come to those who wait; they come to those who are proactive. It is unlikely that love will come knocking on your door so you need to take some action to make things happen. This may mean subscribing to a dating website if you haven’t done so already. Give some proper time and attention to building up a profile, selecting photographs and reviewing matches. As with most other things the more you put in the more you will get out of the process.

Be committed

As Goethe said,

Are you in earnest? Seize this very minute;
Whatever you can do, or dream you can do, begin it;
Boldness has genius, power and magic in it.’

It may seem like a strange thing to say but even people who testify that they really do want a new relationship aren’t totally committed to the idea. They may be hesitant because they have been hurt in the past or on some deep level they don’t really believe they are worthy of love. Check if there is anything holding you back and if necessary go and talk to someone if there are obstacles you feel you can’t shift on your own.

Have a plan

If you don’t know where you are going it will be very difficult to know if you are heading in the right direction or even to recognise when you reach your destination. What do you want your new relationship to be like? What do you want and need from a partner? What are you bringing to the table? Where would you like to be (in this relationship) in five years time? This is deeper than your ‘must haves’ and ‘can’t stands’ – it’s about building a clear picture of what is important to you in your life whether you are in a relationship or not. Don’t put your life on hold waiting for someone to accompany you on your journey, get out there and live and you are more likely to attract someone who is doing the same.

Step out of your comfort zone

Sometimes we fall into the trap of using the same selection filters time and time again when viewing profiles even though experience has shown them to be less than effective. Make 2012 the year when you trust the matching process more and date people you wouldn’t normally have considered because of their photo, height, location or other unquestioned selection criteria. You may be pleasantly surprised.

Prioritise dating

We all have many pressures on our time and energy with work, family and hobbies. Often dating can seem like a luxury we have little time for and it ends up squashed between all our other commitments. Then when we do go on a date and it is less than perfect it can put us off making time for it again in the future. This year prioritise dating in your personal calendar. Give yourself time to select matches, prepare for the date, go out on the actual date and have time afterwards to reflect on the experience. In this way even if you don’t want to see the person again you will have got the very best from the dating experience and be able to take what you learn into future dates.

Listen to yourself

One of the biggest blocks to finding a new relationship is often low self esteem. Personal confidence can be damaged by relationship break-up, job loss, illness or bereavement. Whatever it is that has damaged your confidence it is important that you take steps to feel better about yourself if you want to have the best possible chance of finding love in 2012. There are many support groups and forums offering support for whatever you have been though. The first and most loving relationship to cultivate is the one with your self. Listen to how you talk to yourself; are you your own best friend or your worst enemy?


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