Four ways to know someone is about to ghost you
Ghosting is one of the most frustrating aspects of online dating. But there signs to look out for that someone is about to ghost you. Here are four ways to know
While access to interesting people you may have never met otherwise is one of the great boons of online dating, ghosting is one of its ugly downsides. It’s the practice of dropping someone cold with no explanation. And the worst part about ghosting isn’t even the break up (if you can call it that) but the not knowing why.
Was it something you said? Did he meet someone new? Did you introduce her to your parents too soon? Did he misinterpret that flirty text you sent? Or is she just a flake?
There’s no way to know, and that’s what makes being ghosted so hard. It denies us the one thing many of us really need to move on after a dating relationship ends – closure.
So, how can you tell if you’re about to get ghosted and thereby maybe get some kind of explanation that will help you get over the break up? Here are four tips:
1. One-word texts
You just sent him a multi-sentence text about your fun girls’ night out over the weekend and then suggest the two of you get together later in the week. His response? ‘Okay.’ Nothing else. No suggestion for where to meet up or what night.
Maybe, several hours later, feeling antsy, you inquire, ‘So, how was your weekend?’ He replies, ‘Fine.’ No details.
Chances are, he’s backing out of the relationship slowly. Pretty soon you won’t be getting any return texts at all.
2. Chronic cancellations
So, the first time she told you she was going to have to cancel your Saturday night cinema date because her sister was unexpectedly visiting, you didn’t think much of it. But when you tried to make up the missed date a few days later by suggesting drinks after work, she said, ‘sure’, but texted you last-minute to say something had come up work. Now you’ve started feeling anxious.
Then you see her for a quick dinner date on the weekend and feel better. But, after making plans for a picnic the following Saturday, she cancels on you again, claiming she’d forgotten two of her university friends were going to be in town.
Guess what? You’re not a priority and she isn’t brave enough to just tell you that. Soon, she’s probably going to stop responding to your date requests at all.
3. No interest in your life
When you first started dating, he seemed so into you. He was so amazed by your promising career and encouraging of your efforts to get back into playing music. He’d ask you question after question about your interests, thoughts on politics, and your future plans. But, suddenly, it’s like talking to a cold fish.
Maybe you just told him about your promotion at work and he responds with a lackluster, ‘That’s great’ and doesn’t ask a single question about it. Or you call him one evening to tell him about a new song you just worked out on the piano and he says he’s busy and will call you back – but doesn’t.
If he’s lost interest in your life (and not because you failed to show interest in his), chances are, he’s getting ready to move on…without you.
4. No interest in plans
You propose taking her out dancing Friday night, and she responds, ‘Sounds nice, let’s see how the week goes.’ When Friday rolls around, she’s not available – even though she knew on Monday you wanted to see her. When you suggest meeting for Sunday brunch, she says, ‘I’ll let you know if I’m caught up on work by then’ But then she never gets in touch over the weekend to confirm.
If she’s routinely failing to make specific plans with you and seems to be playing a game of wait and see, she’s probably waiting for a better option to come along while keeping you on the bench. Sure, she’ll hang out with you Saturday night, but only if that new guy who has caught her eye isn’t free.
If you’re one of the many people who have been ghosted, try not to take it too personally. Someone who can’t break up with you face-to-face or be honest about what’s going on in his or her head likely wasn’t relationship material in the first place. It doesn’t mean you should give up on love.
Once you’re over the break up, consider ways to find other people who are just as interested in having a long-term dating relationship as you are. eharmony is the perfect place to get acquainted with potential partners who share your desire to date seriously. Sign up today and find someone who is truly right for you.
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