Laura Anderson: 8 things I learned from Love Island rejection
Laura Anderson from reality-TV show Love Island was the guest on eharmony’s Love Decoded this week. We share Laura’s insights in how to get over even the most traumatic break up and stay positive about finding love.
Laura Anderson arrives for eharmony’s Love Decoded show full of smiles and curiosity.
She has impossibly long eyelash extensions on her top and bottom lids, porcelain skin and iced-blonde hair to rival Elsa from Frozen.
She admits she’s not used to the ‘talking stuff’. Often, her work obligations simply require her to turn up at a VIP event, get photographed, mingle briefly then go home. But to reduce Laura to pap shots and champers is to miss her wit and empathy.
Observing Laura on this year’s Love Island was both fascinating and harrowing. First she got together with Wes Nelson, 20, and the two were inseparable for three weeks. Then fellow contestant Megan Barton (one of Laura’s confidantes on the show) declared her desire to steal Wes – and so she did.
Laura was forced to watch the treacherous pair cuddle up and declare their feelings for each other day after day in the searing heat. They even slept inches away in a communal dorm, Laura sobbing quietly under one duvet while Wes and Megan frolicked beneath another.
Next, Laura paired up with Jack Fowler, 22, but he proved fickle and duplicitous. Ultimately, a bruised and confused Laura ended the series with carpenter and model Paul Knops, from whom she has since split. She’s now several months free of the Love Island experience, but dating another contestant from a previous series, Max Morley.
To sum up, Laura has had plenty of romantic action – along with a good dose of drama. So here we share the Scottish warrior queen’s insights into break-ups, betrayal and finding love again.
Being dumped on Love Island hurts just as much as real life
It was a three-week relationship (with Wes) but I honestly cried and cried. Now, I’m completely over it, but at the time I couldn’t sleep I couldn’t eat it was just like a normal break up. I thought: ‘This is so embarrassing, the whole nation is watching me being rejected.’
You can, and do, get over it
Eventually with Megan and Wes – I realised they were more suited than we had ever been. I thought: ‘I’ve been through bigger break ups before, so I can do it again. And who am I to stop someone else being happy?’ I realised the best thing for me to do was have a bit of fun with the girls (on the island), just be positive, and remember that everything happens for a reason.
I think differently about my looks now
You have to decide to move on. I know that I am a good person, so I know that I deserve the best romantically, and I hope that anyone in that situation feels the same. And it doesn’t really matter what you look like, let’s be honest! Coming off the show I probably felt more insecure about how I looked because I saw myself from so many different [camera] angles.
There’s no such thing as ‘the one’
I think we’ve all grown up with fairytales and the idea of soulmates. You get it into your head that there’s only one person out there for you. But I don’t believe that at all. Some people are more traditional. For instance, my sister met her husband in school they have only ever been together. While that’s rare and amazing – I wouldn’t be who I was if I hadn’t been through all my romantic challenges. I wouldn’t be a strong and independent woman, so I just have to say to all my exes: “Thanks, for breaking my heart”.
Being the dumper is worse than being the dumpee
I’m not very good at doing a break up, I would rather be dumped! I don’t care about the embarrassment [of being rejected]. I would rather just wait for the relationship to get so crap that the other person dumps me. Guilt is a killer.
Break the habit of thinking about your ex
Sometimes I’m not very good at accepting rejection. I can go over and over it in my mind. I might think: ‘But yesterday he told me he loved me. We were so together’. Men are really good at hiding their feelings and you don’t always see the end coming. But you have to quickly break the habit of thinking about your ex. They are not in your life anymore, try new things, see new people.
Give yourself permission to grieve
You can call in sick if somebody dies. But if you get dumped you have to go to work. I have called in sick many times for being heartbroken. I give myself permission to grieve. I always like to stay at home for the first 24 hours, watch films, eat and have a good cry. Then, when I’m ready I might leave the house and take a walk.
I’ve had break-ups that were 10 times worse than Love Island
You can never give up on love, it’s why we’re all here. I’ve had a lot of relationships and a lot of breaks up which were 10 times worse than what anyone saw on Love Island. I think a lot of people have strength in different ways, but you must never give up. I’ve learned to go into a relationship with a little more caution and more of my wits about me. And possibly not giving my all too soon. I have a lot to give and I expect a lot back, but not everyone is like that.
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