Are dating deal breakers stopping us from finding love?
Nine million singles are chasing the wrong type – stopping them from finding the one. Are your dating deal breakers getting in the way of you finding love?
Our latest study has revealed that almost 70% of people in happy relationships are with someone who isn’t their traditional ‘type’. Yet, most singles (75%) admit they avoid dating people that don’t fit all of their pre-set criteria, meaning that an estimated 9 million singles may be dismissing the right person for them before they even meet!
The standout deal breaker for over a third of singles is distance, with 35% admitting that having to travel would be a barrier.
For women, one of the biggest deal breakers is dating someone shorter than them (33%), while a similar number would never date someone younger (34%). Surprisingly, despite the perception that men are interested in dating an older woman, three in 10 men (30%) rule out dating women older than them. What’s more, it seems gentlemen don’t actually prefer blondes, with brunettes coming out on top over blondes (28% compared to 26%).
eHarmony.co.uk’s psychologist Dr. Linda Papadopoulos, said:
‘The idea of a ‘type’ is shorthand for similarities between the people you find attractive. However, this often becomes a checklist of superficial deal breakers – such as height or age – and not the core values and personality aspects that really allow us to connect with people. These dimensions of compatibility are harder to identify and describe – things like emotional temperament or one’s moral compass, yet they are crucial for a meaningful relationship.
‘Singles need to be careful and not just go after what they think is their ‘type’, setting up emotional barriers against anyone that doesn’t fit their wishlist. These criteria are often derived from societal norms and influences from friends and family, and may have little to do with what really makes a relationship work. You may think things like height are really important, but they will soon be forgotten when you meet someone you really click with.’
While some know exactly what they are looking for, a number of singles have the opposite issue and instead have no idea what they want in a potential partner. A quarter (23%) admitted they are confused about what type of person is right for them romantically, while a further 15% say sticking with the same type has seen them hurt before. What’s more, one in five (20%) women admit to chasing bad boys.
Those in happy long-term relationships agree that singles shouldn’t rule out potential partners based on a preconceived ‘type’, with over two-thirds (68%) noting that taking an open-minded approach to dating is key to ending up with long-lasting romance. For these couples, issues such as age (22%), job (13%), and even hair colour (9%) went out of the window in the face of true love.
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