How to make the most of Valentine’s if You Don’t Have a Date

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In the run up to Valentine’s Day many singles can feel pressure to find a date for the 14th. However, dating psychologist Madeleine Mason of PassionSmiths explains that you may already have the perfect partner waiting for you to take them out…

I bet you have noticed it’s Valentine’s! You can’t really ignore all the love hearts, cards, posters, restaurant dinner-offers-for-two etc on display. It seems year upon year Valentine’s Day gets bigger and more ‘in your face’. Which is fine… if you have a date.

But if you don’t, you would rather not be reminded. Oddly though, those reminders can often make you feel worse than you need to be. You might experience a pang of self-pity, a sense of loneliness and disillusion, a feeling of being left out.

It’s actually a psychological mind trick. It goes like this: If we to compare ourselves with someone who appears to be better off than us, we feel negative emotions more easily. Conversely, we feel better when we compare ourselves with someone less well off. I know. It’s weird, but that is how we seem to be wired. So, should you feel down over the idea of not having a Valentine’s date, try thinking about someone (even imaginary) who is worse off in the love department than you, and it will actually make you feel better.

However, that is really only a momentary mind trick. You still might feel pretty rotten inside about being single and Valentine’s is a dreaded 24 hour long reminder. But what if I were to say it’s possibly yourself making you feel upset (and not ‘the lack of dates’)?

I will just let that sink in.

What if you have the power to make YOU happy and feel good about yourself on Valentine’s?

Have you ever heard the expression: “ if you don’t love yourself, you can’t expect someone else to”? The point is, you are most attractive when you love yourself. When you are happy with life. When you feel like you are in the driving seat of your life. And Valentine’s Day is the perfect day to start doing just that. Pick yourself up and invite yourself out on a date.

Have a think. What things could you do that would make you feel good on that day? Book a massage, go to the theatre, have a ‘staycation’ and rent loads of movies, go shopping? Whatever takes your fancy. Do something nice for yourself and take yourself out on a date. Turn off your phone for the day.

Get to know yourself and find out what you like doing. Pamper yourself.

Do the first thing anyone should do. Love yourself. Be kind. Be compassionate. You probably give yourself a hard enough time as it is.

Go on. It is after all the day to celebrate love! And I promise you, you will be fine. If not more attractive (And should you book that date with yourself and someone invites you out afterwards, last minute, you are busy. They will have to see you another day).

Have a Happy Valentine’s Day.


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