Setting yourself up for dating success


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It’s the new year and with that the ‘New Year new me’ mantras are chanted all over the world! We’ve all been there. And although you may cringe ever so slightly at the prospect of re-inventing yourself to kick 2015 off in style, it’s completely possible and sometimes necessary.

Online dating is a massive step to take and if you are keen to start as you mean to go on, then I have a few tips to give you the strong foundations for dating success. Don’t just leave it up to ‘the gods’ to throw down divine intervention.

Draft and re-draft your profile

You really need to put time and effort into compiling your online dating profile if you have any hope in bagging someone you may actually like. Writing the bare minimum of information and descriptions of yourself is not going to cut it, but still so many people do this. If it’s a sense of mystery you’re going for and you believe that less is more, then you will continue to be dateless! It’s always hard to write about yourself without wanting to sound like an egotistical maniac or someone who is trying too hard, but your dating profile has to ‘sell’ you. Your potential suitor wants your words to be awesome and honest as well as push their interest buttons, so get wordy! The general rule is more is much better as you give yourself a better chance of connecting with someone if you specifyhobbies and interests. Take a little time and don’t rush it, and it will pay off.

Top Tip – Graba friend who you think can help and get them to write a few sentences about you. This can help give you some ideas about what else to add to your profile. They can also proof read it once done so you have a second opinion before you put it out there!

Use more than one generic photo

First impressions are crucial. You know this, I know this… hell everyone knows this! So why are you holding back on the pics? We are all visual creatures and those searching online will be looking you up and down often before they even get to your interests and how you attempt to achieve world peace! Those looking for ‘Mr or Mrs Right’ sometimes need a smorgasbord of photographs to encourage them to make that move or that your initial contact will be well received. Sure upload that one great photo where you look amazing, but also add photos of you from different occasions like parties, climbing Machu Picchu and sailing your yacht called Serendipity! This not only shows people just how interesting your lifestyle is, but also offers great conversation pieces.  “So tell me about that one time you travelled to Peru?”

Top Tip – Avoid Selfies! Yes it’s the latest craze and you can probably get away with one or two, but if you overload your profile you may come across as far too vain.

Set aside ‘Me Time’ and look at the bigger picture

You might be quite timid with online dating and with that you will put a limit on your search period. So of course you might say “I’ll give it a month.” That way you feel like you’re doing something but you’ve also given yourself a ‘get out of jail free card’ after this one month limit. However realistically this doesn’t work. Expecting to find love in a month is very idealistic and sometimes unrealistic. Don’t be so strict on time limits for your search and also take into consideration the cost of using eHarmony and the money you can save if you have a longer subscription. It can be weird to think searching for a date to be homework, but if you don’t manage your time online dating, it may not pay off. Set aside some periods of Me Time in the day to check matches, outreach to potential interests and return messages. A little online dating admin never hurt anyone, especially if you want to meet someone special this year!

Top Tip – Set yourself a goal to interact with X number of new people a week. If nothing else this gives you the experience of chatting to someone online and will put you in good stead when ‘the one’ comes along.

Don’t feel disheartened if you haven’t arranged a date or spoken to anyone within the first few weeks. There are new people signing up to every day so be patient. Switching up your pictures, sprucing up your intro and generally keeping your profile up to date will do wonders. All this can help your appeal to new people or make that special someone think twice about hitting exit or send.


Author Profile

Shem Douglas writes for the dating help site where she offers dating tips, tricks, discount codes and chats on all things love, when trying to navigate the awkward minefield of dating and relationships. Shem has over analysed the dating scene to the Nth degree occasionally with a cynical eye, and tries to use her experience to offer constructive and motivational high fives to fellow singletons! After living and studying in London for many years, Shem has now hopped over to Dublin working as a freelance copywriter. She can be found most days trying to restrain herself from getting a cat!

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