Singles tips: How to negotiate the Christmas party season
Being single and going to parties can be a bit daunting, especially at Christmas
The best way to see the Christmas party season is as an opportunity – not necessarily to kindle a new romance, although that is always a possibility – but to become more comfortable socialising with strangers, dressing up as if you are going on a date, honing your conversation skills and generally having some fun.
Something to talk about
Parties are much more enjoyable if you feel happy socialising. Many people find it difficult because they feel as though they have nothing to say or they aren’t funny or witty enough. The best rule of thumb is to show an interest in people and in what they are talking about. Ask questions, make eye contact and don’t be afraid to laugh if you find something funny. Sharing your own experience on a related subject may make you feel more included in a conversation but don’t put pressure on yourself to have a whole portfolio of witty anecdotes – just be willing and open to engaging in conversations with people you don’t know, on subjects you may not know about – then you will feel relaxed and seem approachable.
Let your light shine
What to wear for a party can cause a lot of stress especially around Christmas when it can seem like it is all about the glitz and glamour. Don’t feel pressured if that is not your thing. Just like when you go on a date it is nice to treat yourself to some pampering – a new hairdo or outfit can make you feel more confident – but there is no need to go over the top and dress in a way that really doesn’t reflect who you are. The most attractive thing that you can wear to any party is a smile. Leave your troubles at the door and have some fun.
Avoid the hangover
Alcohol consumption increases at Christmas and most parties tend to be focused on drinking and getting merry. There is absolutely nothing wrong with this as long as you know your limits and practice safe drinking. Unfortunately many people set out with the best of intentions and after a glass or two they feel so invincible that they think they can drink for England.
If you have ever woken up the day after a party in utter mortification at your behaviour of the night before or unable to remember much of what happened it may be a good idea to stop and develop some strategies to ensure that one night of fun doesn’t lead to weeks of embarrassment and shame. Try some of these tactics:
1) Eat before you go – drinking on an empty stomach is never a good idea.
2) Drink a glass of water between alcoholic drinks – the worst part of a hangover is the dehydration and often people are sipping on a glass of something quite unconsciously just because the glass is in their hand – it may as well be a glass of water.
3) Stop when you have had enough – easier said than done especially when there is peer pressure to do shots or down another one, but it is OK to say no.
4) Have water before you go to bed – its basic common sense but most of us forget. Drink at least a pint of water before sleep – your head will thank you in the morning.
Enjoy the flirting
One of the great benefits of being single at Christmas is that you can chat and flirt with anyone you meet. Try imagining that everyone you speak to is a potential lover – this allows you to engage with them in a different way and to practice some of the skills you will need when you are meeting new people on dates.
At a party it is perfectly acceptable to chat to someone for a few minutes and then walk away so it is a great opportunity to be a detective and find out what makes someone attractive to you, how you feel when you are thinking they could be a lover and what makes you decide the conversation has run its course – this is all great information and who knows, by getting involved, allowing yourself to relax and have fun and really trying to see something good and positive in every person you meet you could well attract somebody special.
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