Six Tips for Dating After a Break-Up
Six Tips for Dating After a Break-Up
We’ve all been there at some point. Getting back into dating after a break-up isn’t easy, and it can be a long, and painful process to properly get yourself back to square one, particularly if you’ve come out of a long-term relationship. Here are some tips for getting back into the dating game after a break-up:
1) Be your own best friend
Before you even begin dating, the key to getting over a break-up is to treat yourself the same way a good friend would. Give yourself time, give yourself treats, and know when to give yourself a reality check. Spoil yourself. Buy that treat you’ve lusting after. Let yourself cry when you need to, but distract yourself when you can. Imagine a friend in the same situation. What would you be telling him or her? When would you tell them they need to move on? Take the advice that you would be giving your friend.
2) Get back in the game
The first step is often the hardest, and you might not feel ready to get dating again, but once any immediate wounds are healed, the best way to move on is to start meeting new people. You need to distract yourself from dwelling on your old relationship, and the way to do that is by focusing on the future, and the possibility of a new relationship. Don’t wait until you’re 100% ready … because to be honest, if the break-up wasn’t your idea, you will never feel 100% to move on. When you feel like you’re back at 80%, make a concerted effort to meet new people again – whether that’s signing up to a new dating site, asking friends to set you up on blind dates, or going along to a singles’ event.
3) Ease yourself back in
Make sure to take things slowly. Don’t push yourself too hard, too fast. When you come out of a long-term relationship, sometimes you want to get straight back into a similar relationship. But the reality is that you need to start back at the grass roots, so don’t rush into anything too serious, and have a similar level of intimacy and understanding as you did in your last relationship. Start things off slow. Get to know new people, and remind yourself that there are plenty more fish in the sea.
4) Reclaim your world
When you come out of a relationship, the ghosts of the past can haunt you for some time. Whether it’s pop songs, places or even items of clothing, the longer you’ve had someone in your life, the more things there are around to remind you of them. The key to getting over a broken heart is to reclaim your space. Once you’re ready, throw out any photos or gifts which make you sad. Make new memories by revisiting places with friends. Bury the happy memories which have now turned sad with new happy memories. Bit by bit, you’ll eventually move on.
5) Don’t mention the ex
When you’re back in the dating game, make a concerted effort not to talk about your ex on dates. If you were living with your ex, or with him or her for some time, it can be hard to think of stories which they weren’t involved with, but try your best not to talk about them. Of course, everyone has a history, but try not to share your immediate one too early on. It may seem tough, but try to focus on the present and the future.
6) Try something new
Part of looking to the future involves making new memories. While you might begrudge your newly single status at first, you’ll be surprised how many of your married friends will be envious. Use dating as an excuse to be a tourist in your own city. Go to shows or restaurants you’d been hoping to visit, and embrace the rare opportunity to have one on one conversations with complete stranger. Remember, you won’t be single forever, so make the most of the situation!
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