Top 12 Reasons to Date Santa Claus

by

Santa

With his on-trend beard, sartorial uniqueness and exuberant personality, Santa has many fans. In the unlikely event you ever get to meet the great man, it might pay to ask for a date rather than a present. Here’s why.

1. Santa has plenty of time to devote to you. Though winter is a fairly busy period, Santa is free to enjoy the heady days of summer. Be wary though – Mr. Claus doesn’t tan well.

2. He’s kind to animals. Santa is a reindeer-loving vegetarian who subsists on mince pies.

3. Santa is fun to be around. He’s merry and outgoing, but always willing to sit down and listen – particularly when it’s about what you want for Christmas.

4. He knows how to make an impression. Invite him to meet friends and family and he won’t shuffle around looking awkward. No, Santa will arrive via the chimney, guffaw loudly, down some sherry, and promptly disappear.

5. You never have to worry about being late for a date. Time is irrelevant to Santa, who has to bend the very fabric of space to complete his job in the allotted 32 hours of Christmas.

6. Santa isn’t shy about giving gifts – unless you’re on the naughty list, in which case you‘ll still get a lump of coal. Given today’s energy prices, this is still a pretty good outcome.

7. You’ll go on fantastic holidays. A trip to the North Pole anyone?

8. He’s good with kids. Santa is one of the rare adults that children actually want to meet.

9. Santa isn’t short of a bob or two. Despite not having a paid job, Santa manages to manufacture several billion presents as well as running a highly energy inefficient sleigh.

10. Choosing what to wear on a date with Santa is easy. As long as it goes with red and white, you’re onto a winner.

11. Santa will always be there to look after you. Despite indications of an unhealthy lifestyle, Santa is immune to all illness. In fact, he’s immortal.

12. He’s got a nice ride. Forget about James Bond’s underwater car or the ‘Back to the Future’ DeLorean. Santa’s sleigh is the ultimate vehicle, combining timeless design and a top speed of 650 miles per second.


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