second date questions

10 perfect things to say on a first date

by Eharmony Editorial Team - December 20, 2013

There's nothing worse than struggling for something to say on a date. Nobody enjoys an awkward silence. But don't despair: here are 10 perfect things to say on a first date that will guarantee a second.

A first date is like an onion: you need to peel away one layer at a time. Gently allow your partner to reveal themselves and avoid trying to go straight in with deep, personal questions. Here are some perfect ways to show interest and help someone open up on a first date.

1. What do you do for a living?

It may not be the most scintillating question, but it does show you’re taking an interest in their life beyond the here-and-now of the date. It’s also a question that opens up all kinds of avenues for discussion and discovery.

2. Who would you most like to share dinner with?

This is a simple variation on the dream celebrity dinner party scenario. It narrows the guests down to just one person and gives you the chance to find out what your date admires, desires and wants from a date.

3. Do you like to travel?

This simple question helps you to find out if someone is adventurous or a homebody. It will also give you the chance to talk about places you may both have visited, discover what constraints there may be on your date travelling and discuss favourite places.

4. Where to?

Spontaneity can really help people to begin to feel at ease. By arriving with a set of possible first date idea places, you can let your date choose. This allows you to find out what they like to do and provides plenty to talk about in those first few awkward moments.

5. Where do you feel most relaxed?

One of the best ways to get people to open up is to do so yourself. Tell them where you like to relax, and why, before you ask the same of them. It’s a sure-fire way to get to know your date on a deeper level without being intrusive.

6. What’s one thing about you that would surprise me?

First dates are about fun and gentle discovery – this question offers both.

7. That’s interesting!

Dates are not all about probing questions. They’re also about listening to, and learning about, someone else. Let them know you’re doing this.

8. Let me get that for you

Whether you’re male or female, it doesn’t hurt to open the door for your date or offer to pay. Remember that if they insist on ‘going Dutch’ you should give in gracefully without making a fuss.

9. Thanks for a good time

Be polite if the date has not gone as you may have wished. Likewise, make sure you let them know if it has – tell them that you’ve enjoyed their company.

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10. Can I call you?

You also need to leave them in no doubt that you’d like to see them again for a second date. No-one likes to be left guessing.

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