Going in Blind – Do You Need To See Pictures Before a Date?

by Eharmony Editorial Team - May 30, 2014


We all like to think we’re not the shallow type. And we probably all like to think we don’t go around judging books by their covers. But most of us, if we’re really honest, spend a lot of time doing exactly that So, in a world where faces come first for so many of us, are we still willing to go in blind?

The invention of the internet gives ‘blind dating’ a whole new meaning – now computers play matchmaker rather than our friends, we can select the pictures we’ll be judged by and we can even start a relationship before we’ve ever met in the flesh. But how willing would you be to meet up with someone without a picture on their profile? Even if they had the best opening email you’d ever heard? And if your answer is ‘no’, might you miss out on the love of your life because of a bad or non-existent photo?

In real life we’re forced to evaluate someone by their looks first and foremost. We catch eyes across the bar, we check each other out on the tube, maybe we even start chatting at work. We’ve already made those instantaneous calculations that give us a quick ‘yay’ or ‘nay’, and we probably don’t even know their name yet, let alone if they’re the kind of person we could settle down with. The internet, with its shield of comparable anonymity, allows us to skirt around these judgements, abandon our ‘types’ and stop standing (quite so stubbornly) in our own way.

What it really boils down to is the age-old question – what matters most, looks or personality? Chatting to someone without seeing a picture means you’re free to let their personality do the talking without the distraction of evaluating whether you fancy their face or not. (Plus, ‘fanycing’ someone is often as much to do with their personality as their looks anyway.) No picture gives you a freedom to find someone you really click with and could love after their looks have faded – the long-term partners we’re all looking for deep down.

That being said, it’s more than just a way to judge our dates – a picture makes online dating feel a little safer too. After all, there’s something reassuring in scrolling through a photo album, getting to know your date so at least one thing is familiar when it comes to that first ‘hello’.

So – what’s the conclusion? To go in blind or not to go in blind? Let us know!