Flirting mistakes

The 5 worst flirting mistakes you can make

by Fran Creffield - August 24, 2012

Flirting is an art and a subtle one at that. Practice your technique whenever and wherever you can but watch out for these common mistakes which are likely to get you the very opposite of what you want.

Flirting is the best way to let someone know we’re interested in getting to know them better. Unfortunately, it’s also easy to get wrong. Here are some common flirting mistakes to avoid

1. Coming on too strong

Flirting can be fun and playful, but it’s best when it’s relatively subtle. Never be overtly sexual or make lewd suggestions to someone you’ve just met. It’s likely to have the opposite effect. If the other person doesn’t indicate that they’re interested, back off. Don’t try even harder. Nobody wants to endure the humiliating experience of being asked to leave someone alone. Learn to read other people’s body language and respond to it. Remember that the most effective flirting tactic you can use is to smile – and mean it.

2. Inciting jealousy

If someone is with a partner, whether it’s their long-term boyfriend or girlfriend or a casual date, don’t flirt with them. They’re taken, even if only for that evening. Flirting with someone on a date is disrespectful and rude. How would you feel if someone did it to you? It might also lead to a confrontation with an angry wife or irate boyfriend. So, before you launch into your best flirting routine, make sure the object of your attention is single.

3. Flirting at work

It happens often, but flirting at work can seriously backfire. Especially if it’s with your boss. Other colleagues might think that you’re trying to use your sexuality to get a raise, which might cause friction. Worse still, if you’re not sensitive to stop signals and carry on flirting with someone, even when your attention is unwelcome, you could end up facing a sexual harassment charge.

4. Teasing

There’s a fine line between light-hearted flirting and flirting with romantic intent. Try not to play with someone’s emotions. It’s unfair to give anyone the impression that you have real feelings when you don’t. Light flirting can quickly become more serious so be aware of where the lines fall before things get heavy – to protect yourself as well as the other person.

5. Taking it too seriously

You’ll flirt and people will flirt with you. Maybe the barista at your favourite coffee shop always smiles at you or the person at your bus stop always asks you how your day is going. You may think they’re interested in you but when you press the issue, you find out they do it with everyone. Not everyone who flirts will be interested in having a relationship with you. An essential part of flirting is learning not to get too attached to everyone who flirts back.