Dating myths debunked

Treat them mean, keep them keen? Dating myths debunked!

by Eharmony Editorial Team - October 11, 2013

The age old adage of ‘treat them mean, keep them keen’ is just one of the dating myths we’ve debunked with some new research. These are the dating rules you can safely ignore from now on

We conducted a study of 1,000 singles, with additional insight from relationships psychologists, to get some insight into which dating myths actually work, and which ones belong firmly in the past.

The three day rule

You went on a great date. They were everything you’re looking for and the two of you seemed to really click. So, how soon is too soon to get back in touch with them? The three day rules suggests waiting three days after a date before making contact, however our research shows that only 7% of singles now follow that advice. In today’s age of instant communication, everyone has easy access to mobile phones and social media. There’s no excuse for a delayed reply!

Acting not bothered

Your date sends you a text during the day, but should you text back as soon as you’ve seen it? Acting aloof by not responding to a message may have had the desired effect once upon a time, but we found that only 4% of singles today think that you should purposely wait before replying to a message from a date. Relationship expert Jenni Trent Hughes explains: ‘This technique worked best in the movies and was always seriously flawed in real life. People respond best to positive actions. Smiles and showing appreciation of who they are and what they have to offer is the best way to go. Word to the wise, go for the person you like who likes you back in equal measure. Anything else is a colossal waste of time.’

Facebook stalking

It might be tempting to hunt down your date on social networking sites before you meet to get a feel for what they’re really like. In fact, nearly two fifths of daters admit to doing it! However, experts reveal that what you may find is just a representation of someone that’s not completely true to what they’re like in real life.

Talking about the ex

One surprising revelation from our research came with the admission that it’s okay to mention an ex on a first date – within a positive context at least. It’s not who you talk about, but how you talk about them that really makes the difference. ‘Positivity is key’ Jenni Trent Hughes reveals. ‘If you stay positive then you can mention your ex – it’s ranting and raving about bad past experiences that can really ruin a date.’

Drunk texting

Alcohol might help calm those nerves on a first date, but too much alcohol and dating are far from a match made in heaven. Alcohol and texting can lead to trouble as well as typos, and drinking too much still rates among the top dating no-nos.