Dating jargon: multi dating

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In the second instalment of our dating jargon posts we tackle ‘multi-dating’. Multi-dating is standard practice in the US, but with the rise in singles in the UK it is becoming more popular here too. Here we’ll answer what it is, and help you decide whether you want to using it as a dating tactic.

What is multi-dating?

Multi-dating is the act of dating multiple people at the same time. No, it’s not cheating (though it can be a grey area). It’s about maximising your time, and effort. If you’re online dating especially, you might go through periods where you’re communicating with quite a few people at once, with the potential to go on quite a few dates. Why put some matches on ice just to go on a date with one person? Multi-dating is like hedging your bets – have a date with James one evening and then one with Sean the next.

Dates are often like buses – they don’t come along for a while and then suddenly 3 turn up at once –and with multi-dating you don’t waste the opportunity when it does come along. But, multi-dating does have pitfalls. Read our pros and cons before you decide whether it’s for you!

The pros

  • Never miss out on a date again – with multi-dating your strategy can be to accept as many dates as possible. If you’re feeling adventurous you could do it American style with a coffee date in the morning, followed by a dinner date with someone different later in the day.
  • Make the most of your time – by moving more quickly onto the dating stage with a few matches, you should save time by figuring out quickly who you’re interested in on a personal level.
  • Keep up momentum – by capitalising on those times when you have a few dates to go on, you will boost your confidence and this will give you a boost in the dating game

The cons

  • You may feel guilty – if you’re one of those people who feel guilty when they take the small shampoos from hotel bathrooms, then multi-dating might not be for you. It’s not something you should feel guilty about, as long as you’re honest with everyone involved, but if your conscience is going to affect your enjoyment of the dating process then there’s no point.
  • You need to be honest – if you’re going to multi-date, you need to be upfront with your dates. That doesn’t mean you need to say, ‘By the way, I’m seeing other people’ but if the topic comes up, you cannot lie. Otherwise, you might end up in a whole different world of pain.
  • It’s not for disorganised people – multi-dating means you have to be organised, and have a good memory. If Meera is the fundraising manager, but you ask Nina questions about that subject you might find yourself in hot water.
  • It can be expensive – of course, this depends on the kinds of dates you’re going on, and who pays on each date, but even if you’re going Dutch, three meals out a week might get a bit pricey (and won’t do your waistline much good).

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