Donna’s Diary: Higher, or lower?
Dating with an age gap: The model date
This date was so much fun. As soon as I arrived I noticed he was totally gorgeous and although I didn’t go straight in with the ‘How old are you?’ question, I guessed early 20’s. He is a model and an outrageous flirt! I decided this was just going to be a bit of a giggle as I have no plans on shacking up with a 23 year old model who clearly just wants to get laid.
He orders doubles. Ha-ha, he clearly thinks I’ll be a pushover if he gets me drunk but I play along. Little does he know girls from the north can take their liquor! He is full of light conversation (and after the day I’ve had I’m delighted). It’s also a bonus he is from Australia so he really doesn’t know anything about me. He thinks I’m a fellow model as we meet at a model party (I’m on the books at Storm). I figure it’s easier just to go along with it, and of course I’m flattered.
We have a quick dinner and go back to the bar. Did I tell you how good looking he is?! He’s even more so after a couple of Cosmopolitans. He asks if I want to go for a dance so we agree to swing by and see some mutual friends at Mahiki nightclub. At around 12:30am I get a bit anxious about the school run so explain “I have an early start”. He assumes it’s a ‘shoot’. Ha.
He offers to drop me home and as the cab pulls into my street he asks if he can come in (Aha! My first instincts were correct!) But rather than tell him he’s outrageous I just say “Argh that’s not a good idea, I don’t really live alone.” His reply is “No really, I don’t mind your house mates”, which makes me giggle even more to myself at the whole situation. He clearly thinks I live in some house share with a load of other models.
“No, you’re kind but it’s probably best you head home” I reply. We agree to speak soon but I doubt either of us will be waiting by the phone.. But for the record, yes we did have a bit of a snog, sorry I couldn’t resist!
After a few days home alone after this date, I get a bit bored and in the spirit of dating research I eventually agree to dinner with somebody my friends have been trying to set me up with for a while…
Dating with an age gap: The flashy older guy
Let’s call him Mr. X because he is quite an established businessman who shall we say is a somewhat ‘experienced dater’. He offers to send a car (which is so old school) and something I’ve never been particularly comfortable with on a first date. You end up feeling a bit like a Fed Ex parcel before the night has even begun. So I say “No it’s fine, I’m working”, and I meet him there. We go to a very sophisticated yet slightly stuffy establishment. He orders great wine, opens doors, stands when I stand, so is very polite. He asks enough questions about me, although I get the feeling he already knows the answers…good old Google.
He tells me much about himself…I’m nodding and smiling politely in return and trying to look impressed as he “casually” (yeah, right) drops in that he needs to find a new captain for the boat, staff for his Miami home and work out whether to send his cars back to London or not, as he doesn’t really have the right garage to store them in.
Oh god this is a disaster, and I’m not by any means judging good manners or success – on a less flashy character they are utterly charming. I’m nodding and smiling some more (this is where my years as a child actor pay off). My mind drifts to my daughter and I just want to get home, put my sweat pants on and give her a cuddle. I get the feeling he is looking for a long term girlfriend, probably to sort the staff out, and find him a more suitable garage space.
His questions during the evening feel more like an interview process than a fun evening out. Slightly awkward moment on the infamous ride home: how do you duck someone’s tongue lunging towards you without being a total bitch? Which as I say to my girlfriend the next day was totally unacceptable and she quite rightfully replied, “hang on a minute Donna, it would have been perfectly acceptable if you’d been into him”.
Whilst these two dates were definitely not love at first sight, that was by no means a reflection of any age difference. We all know of hugely successful relationships where there’s an age difference either way. I for one had my longest standing relationship with somebody who was older than myself, and I’d like to think we learnt from each other in equal measures. I think in the cases of these two dates the compatibility was just not quite there on either side, and I continue to be open-minded and optimistic. Roll on Date Number 3!
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