How can I learn to trust people to find my soul mate?
Marina Pearson, relationship expert and author of inspirational book, Goodbye Mr. Ex, imparts her wisdom with these 5 steps to help overcome past doubt and suspicion. So how can you learn to trust?
Great question. Trusting people when you’ve been hurt in the past can be very difficult. You find yourself keeping people at arm’s length because there’s a belief instilled inside you that says, “As I have been hurt in the past and been treated in a way I didn’t like, I cannot fully engage with another, because I believe that the same thing will happen again.” Does this sound familiar?
There are 5 principles to live by that can really help you to overcome this belief and feeling.
1. Start with a clean slate
Your past does not equal your future. I learned this concept at a seminar once and I never really understood it until a few years ago. Just because you’ve been hurt in the past, doesn’t mean that you will be hurt again.
However, if this does keep happening again and again, this will be something to look at. When there is a pattern of behavior or situation that keeps repeating itself, it’s important to clear the past so that you can start with a clean slate. Bringing someone new into your life will be a lot easier and you will find that distrust is no longer an issue.
Imagine carrying lots of rocks with you in a bag and as you go along, you collect more and more rocks, how do you think you will feel if you continue to carry the rocks? Tired, right?
What if someone came along, emptied your bag of the rocks and you were able to keep walking but this time, no rocks! How would you feel? Much lighter? Well the same is true for creating a clean slate!
2. Find out what beliefs you hold and change them.
Our beliefs can either spurn us forward or hold us back. Whatever you believe, you will attract. The key thing here is to identify what beliefs you are holding about people.
One way you can do this right now is to fill in the blank, “I don’t trust people because___________” and see what you come up with. You may have one answer or you may have a whole list! Either way it will be very telling as to what meaning you’ve given to why you don’t trust others.
Then you will need to change the unconscious beliefs you have. Once you change your beliefs, you will start attracting more people you can trust.
3. Learn to trust yourself
This one is really key! When we say we don’t trust others, it’s usually because we don’t trust ourselves. I know this one well. It’s normal if you’ve been hurt in the past to find it hard to trust others. But if you keep up with this pattern, it will usually mean that you don’t trust yourself to pick someone that is good for you.
Not having trust in your own judgement will usually come from thinking that you’ve been proven wrong many times. However if you keep distrusting yourself, you will keep going around in circles.
Instead, write down a list of 30 to 40 good decisions that you’ve made in the past. This will allow you to see that you can indeed trust your decision-making.
4. Be clear about what you want
Whenever I work with a client where trust is the central theme, it’s usually because they don’t know who they’re looking for or who they want to be with.
It’s important to know exactly what type of person you want to be with and more importantly to note how you want them to make you feel.
Write a list of how you wish them to make you feel. By doing this you will know when you have met them. No-one ever forgets how you make them feel, which is why this is a very powerful exercise.
5. Create an inspiring relationship vision for yourself.
Once you are clear on what you want, create a relationship vision for yourself. Your unconscious mind can only see pictures and whatever your unconscious sees, it believes!
Inspiring yourself is essential to overcoming distrust. You new-found belief and vision will complement your ability to attract someone you can trust. The law of attraction (in this case to attract your soul mate) will only happen if your inner world changes and when you know exactly what you’re looking for.
To download your free chapters of Marina Pearson’s bestselling book, Goodbye Mr. Ex, please click here.
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