Scientists Reveal the Most Attractive Words to Use on Your Profile


Language of Love

Your online dating profile is the perfect place to sell yourself, but which words will help or hinder your search for love? Our investigation reveals all

How do you describe yourself? When it comes to creating your online dating profile, completing the ‘About You’ section can be one of the toughest parts to complete, let alone to get right. But don’t worry, we’re here to help. Our study looked at more than 12,000 of the most popular profiles on to find the words that turn people off, and more importantly the words that attract.

It seems that, in the battle of the sexes, it’s the men that are valuing more cerebral qualities than the women in 2016. Women using the word ‘ambitious’ in their profile enjoy 48% more attention than those who don’t, while men who describe themselves as ‘physically fit’ saw their profiles attract a huge 96% more interaction than their less active peers.

So, which words will make your online dating profile a success? Perceptive scores high for the both sexes, as the second most desirable descriptor, while women who describe themselves as sweet, hard-working and thoughtful and men who deem themselves spontaneous, outgoing and optimistic also score high.

Don’t be afraid to show off your smarts; both men and women proved to be attracted to those who describe themselves as ‘intelligent’ while being ‘passionate’ yet ‘rational’ also scored highly with the opposite sex. Our investigation proved that men shouldn’t feel the need to conceal their softer sides, profiles that included ‘affectionate’ and ‘generous’ saw an uplift in responses of over 20% – ‘warm’ and ‘genuine’ had a similarly positive effect.

Women who convey their get up and go seem to catch the eye of men more than those who describe themselves as ‘easy-going’ or ‘warm’. Instead, descriptors such as ‘creative’, ‘happy’, ‘outgoing’ and ‘optimistic’ all saw an increase in responses for the profiles that used them.

language of love

When it comes to turn offs, those strong silent types might not be so desirable after all. Both sexes find descriptors like ‘quiet’ and ‘good listener’ to be negative qualities, while ‘spiritual’ has also been deemed universally undesirable. There are also a few surprises on the list; we might all think we want partners who are happy, romantic and funny but these are all among the least desirable words in online dating profiles – especially when used by men. That’s not a reason to ditch the romance completely; perhaps showing is better than telling in this case.

The main takeaway from this research is that it really does pay to put time and effort into the language you use in your profile. This is your chance to shine and – just like when compiling a CV for that job you really want – there’s no point in hiding your best qualities. Think about what you would look for in a partner and apply that criteria to yourself; would you really want to spend an evening with someone who’s dependable, respectful and easy-going (despite these all being great qualities) when you can hit the town with someone who’s intelligent, outgoing and driven by burning ambition?

If this all sounds a bit daunting then, never fear, we’re here to help. Head on over to eHarmony’s online profile checker to find out how your dating profile measures up. We’ll show you the words that are working for you and the ones that aren’t, as well as providing a few suggestions that’ll help you stand out from the crowd. So, what are you waiting for? Give the online dating profile tool a try today!

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