What to do after a bad date

by

texting

 A bad date can be disheartening for anyone but what you do in the hours after could make all the difference to your long-term dating success.

 Perhaps there’s no such thing as a bad date (they’re all learning opportunities) but it takes someone of enormous self confidence to not be even a little downhearted when faced with disappointment. Staying hopeful and optimistic is essential if you want to move on and give other matches a try, so here are some helpful suggestions as to what to do after a bad date:

Phone a friend

When a date’s gone badly your self esteem may take a nose dive, so it’s really important to connect quickly with someone who’ll pump it back up a little. Friends are the perfect choice because whether they make you laugh, gently tease or just listen, contact with them will remind you that you’re loved and not on your own.

Make the glass half full

It’s all too easy to see the negatives in a bad date and start predicting a future where you’re forever single, but this kind of attitude won’t get you anywhere.

It may take a concerted effort but if you’re ever to go on another date, and risk potential disappointment again, you need to start looking for the positives.

Maybe you can congratulate yourself on having enough self respect to not get involved with someone when it wasn’t right, for taking a chance, for speaking your mind or for not compromising on your principals.

Whatever made it qualify as a bad date will have good points if you take the time to find them. If you can find the humour in the situation it will turn around much quicker.

Recognise if circumstances were beyond your control

Sometimes dates go horribly wrong and there’s nothing you could have done about it. If you’re giving yourself a hard time for messing it up ask yourself could you have done anything to prevent it from going wrong? If the answer is yes then learn the lesson and remember it next time you’re arranging a date. If the answer is no put it down to experience and remember that what’s meant to be won’t pass you by and what passes you by wasn’t meant to be.

Keep perspective

If your date went badly because you liked them but they didn’t like you, it can be a bitter pill to swallow. The trick is to not allow it to make you bitter. Don’t globalise the experience by thinking things like ‘I will be on my own forever’; ‘All men/women are idiots’; ‘No-one will ever love me’ etc. These thoughts are self defeating and simply not true. Just because you weren’t a good match for this date does not mean that you won’t be for someone else. One thing’s for sure, bitterness will make you much less attractive to everyone and can stop you being open to a good match when one comes along.

Give it time

While your ego may be bruised straight after a bad date the chances are that a week or a month from now you will have forgotten all about this experience. If you take the advice above it will simply become a stepping stone taking you closer to the relationship you really want and deserve.

If you ever go on a date with a match who is abusive, threatening or intimidating then please don’t hesitate to contact the customer support team and report it so action can be taken to remove that member from the site.

 


If this article gave you the confidence to find your match, try eHarmony today!

Join Now


More like this:

By posting a comment, I agree to the Community Standards.
Need help with eHarmony.co.uk?