Signs your partner is being unfaithful

5 signs your partner is cheating

by Fran Creffield - November 12, 2012

Do you suspect that your partner might be cheating on you? These are the 5 signs to look out for if you suspect that your significant other is being unfaithful.

When it comes to relationships the majority of people who have been cheated on say that in hindsight there were signs that their partner was being unfaithful to them but that they chose to ignore them. If they did address them their partner did such a good job of lying and manipulating them that they ended up believing that it was their own paranoia and insecurity that was actually the problem.

When we think of someone being unfaithful we assume they are having a sexual relationship with someone other than their partner. People may class other things as infidelity – developing a close intimate relationship with someone online for example – and it will depend on your own personal boundaries to decide what is and isn’t acceptable within your relationship – these parameters are usually decided and agreed between a couple when they make a commitment to each other.

Being unfaithful means your partner is doing something that breaks the terms of your agreement and infidelity usually goes hand in hand with lying and deception so even though you may ‘know’ something is not right it is very difficult to discover the truth.

There is no need to go and book a lie detector test to put your mind at ease, instead look for these five signs which could tell you everything you need to know.

1. Phone use

Changes in phone use are often the first and most obvious sign that someone is being unfaithful. While you may notice an increase in phone calls – particularly ones where your partner leaves the room, talks differently, sounds flirtatious or seems flushed and evasive when you ask who called – what is much more common now is to notice an increased use of mobile phones – particularly for texting.

If your partner’s phone habits change very suddenly and they seem much more attached to their phone than they were before – even taking it with them when they go to the loo – this could mean that something is going on.

2. Time and attention

Does your partner seem to be going out with friends a lot more or staying up much later than they used to – perhaps chatting with people online? Do you feel like they are avoiding spending time alone with you? Maybe they have started going out with friends or to the gym a lot more than they used to or spending a lot more time and attention taking care of their appearance?

None of these on their own are necessarily signs of infidelity but when they start to add together it will soon become clear if your partner’s time and attention is focused away from you and your relationship.

3. Lying or evasiveness

The easiest way to tell if someone is lying to you is by their ability to look you in the eye when they are speaking. If you’re partner lies directly to your face and seems plausible, most people will find it difficult to believe that anyone could have that much front so are more likely to accept the lie, but there will be a gut instinct that tells you not to trust them. Ask direct questions and feel the difference when you know they are telling the truth.

4. Physical intimacy

While some people will avoid sexual intimacy because their needs are being met elsewhere it may not stop altogether when someone is being unfaithful but there is every possibility that it will change. Maybe they become more adventurous in bed, start asking you to do things differently. Perhaps they don’t seem as affectionate or present – like they are just going through the motions. However it manifests your sex life will be affected by infidelity so look out for extreme variations.

5. Moods

Living a life of duplicity that involves lying and betraying someone will make most people feel very uncomfortable. This may come across in extreme mood swings, irritability and defensiveness. The more you are kind and considerate towards them the more hostile they become – they are not comfortable in themselves so your love and attention is painful – they know what they are doing is wrong and that they are risking losing you.

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What to do When your partner is cheating on you

None of the clues above indicate on their own that your partner is being unfaithful but spotting any of them will probably make you more vigilant to see if there is anything else going on which should concern you. Talk to you partner – not in an accusing way but about the things that concern you like if you are not spending much time together – tell them how you feel about their recent behaviour and give them a chance to put it right or come clean. Seek outside help if you feel that you can’t get to the bottom of the situation on your own.

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