A couple standing back-to-back, looking worried

7 signs your new relationship is on the rocks

by Eharmony Editorial Team - September 28, 2010

New relationships can be hard to figure out. When you don’t really know the other person, how can you tell the normal ups and downs of a relationship from the real danger signs?

If you find yourself thinking, ‘Should it really be this hard?’, then read our list of 7 new relationship warning signs that no one can afford to ignore. Your intuition may be trying to tell you something

1. You fight a lot

Arguing is a given in any relationship. Whether you like to shout or fume in silence, it’s never going to be a completely smooth ride. For one thing arguing means you’ve both aired your differences, and it can be a positive step towards working out any issues. But, if you find yourselves arguing a lot, this is a warning sign. If the warm, loving feelings of the honeymoon period have been eclipsed by your constant conflict if might be time to re-evaluate your relationship.

2. Your partner is often unreachable

There’s a reason the phone bills of new couples are sky high: that initial desire to be in constant contact with each other.  In a new relationship marathon text and phone sessions are the norm. But, if you find your loved one is often hard to reach, or you feel they’re avoiding you, then alarm bells should be ringing. Of course people are busy, but it really isn’t that hard to return a phone call, or quickly type a text. Pull them up on it, and if that fails, ask yourself if you really want to be with someone who can’t be bothered to pick up the phone.

3. Your partner is a green-eyed monster

We’ve covered off the partner who wants to keep you at arm’s length, but how about the one who wants to keep you close at all times? Jealousy isn’t a pretty trait, and if you find yourself changing your behaviour because of your partner’s jealousy – not meeting up with friends of the opposite sex for example – then you should probably be concerned.

4. You always stay in

Maybe you’re the kind of couple who loves nothing better than to curl up on the sofa, watch rubbish Saturday night TV and get a takeaway  – that’s totally ok. After all, being in a new relationship can be pretty pricey if you’re always going out and doing new things. But if you never go out together then you should consider that something could be up. It’s possible that there’s a reluctance from one partner to be seen in public with the other. Alternatively, maybe one partner just can’t be bothered to invest the time, money and effort to do nice things. Either way, there may be a problem.

5. The Ex-Files haven’t been closed

After a certain age everyone is going to bring emotional baggage into a new relationship – it’s how they deal with it that counts. If your partner always seems to be talking about their ex – whether in a positive or a negative way – alarm bells should be ringing. If they can’t get over their last relationship, then you may just need to leave them to it.

6. They’re distant

One big part of a new relationship is the desire to know everything about the other person. Sure, there are certain things you probably don’t want to hear about in the honeymoon period, but if you are to forge a healthy, happy life together you both need to be open and honest with each other. If you feel like your other half hasn’t told you much about themselves, ask yourself why they might be holding back. Do you really want to be with someone who is emotionally closed? It might work for now, but in the long-term it’ll make life very hard.

7. Your gut isn’t happy

If your instincts are telling you something’s up then it’s quite likely something is. Admittedly, sometimes our instincts will wrongly kick in because of the fear or insecurity we’ve brought with us from a past relationship. But give your gut feelings a chance before you dismiss them as paranoia, as they’re more important than most people give them credit for.