3 ways to make your long distance relationship work for you


Would you go the extra mile for love? eHarmony.co.uk’s latest study revealed that the average Brit is willing to travel 419 miles for a relationship. But what happens if you fall for someone far from home? We asked Jo of Slummy Single Mummy for her tips on going the distance.


Apparently the world is getting smaller everyday. Not in terms of actual size of course, we don’t need to start panicking, but in terms of connectivity; new technology and global marketplaces are creating a society where we’ve never been closer to each other.

It doesn’t always feel like that when you’re living on the other side of the world from your partner, or even the other side of the country. Regardless of how globalised the economy may be, relationships without regular face to face contact are tough.

That’s not to say they can’t work, or that they don’t in fact suit some people very well, but they do require thought and planning. We’ve spoken to some long distance daters and put together three top tips for making sure your long distance relationship goes the distance.


Have an end in sight

Most things in life are manageable so long as you have a plan. Boring work is more tolerable with a promotion in sight and diets are only made bearable because of that image of squeezing back into your favourite jeans. Similarly long distance relationships need a goal, a light at the end of the dating tunnel, to make the hard work feel worthwhile.

Your goal may be some way off, but it’s key to at least to share an idea of where you want to end up and how you might eventually make it happen. It can feel awkward to talk about the future, particularly in a new relationship, but there’s no point getting a year into a long term relationship only to find out that your partner never has any intention of moving or settling down.


Make your time together special

One of the benefits of being in a long term relationship is that when you do get to spend time together, it’s often really good quality time. Lots of regular couples slide quickly into a routine of seeing each other several times a week, but often their time together ends up being based around a takeaway and the latest Netflix boxset.

In a long distance situation, this sort of ‘relationship laziness’ is often avoided, and instead you makes plans for weekends away, meals out, and other fun activities. Having something specific to look forward to also helps will to boost your mood while you’re apart. Why not take turns to be in charge of planning an outing or trip?


Keep in touch

Communication nowadays is easy, but shifting the focus of interaction from quantity to quality can help to keep things interesting and enable you to get to know each other while you’re apart. Text messages are handy for a quick hello, but it’s hard to really connect on a deep level through this sort of channel.

Instead, how about going back to basics and writing letters? There’s nothing like the romance of receiving a handwritten letter in the post, plus you’ll be creating wonderful memories that you can read over and over in years to come. Postcards and small gifts in the posts and fun too, and do try to fit in some regular phone calls or Skype sessions – much more effective for conversation than WhatsApp or Snapchat.

Of course all relationships are unique and what works for one couple may not work for another so be prepared to experiment and to compromise. Keep talking to each other about any concerns or frustrations you may have and with a little planning and care your relationship should be able to go the distance.


Jo Middleton is a mum to two girls and an experienced internet dater. Read more from Jo on her award winning blog, Slummy single mummy or follow her on Twitter for more bite sized updates.

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