6 warning signs you’re settling


Do you ever find yourself wondering if they’re The One, or if you’re just settling down because you don’t think you’ll find anyone better? Sometimes, when we’re at a low ebb, it can be very easy to convince ourselves that someone is right for us, just because they’re there. But settling rarely makes for a long lasting, happy relationship. Here are 6 warning signs that you’re settling for second best in your relationship.

1. The little things really bug you

Love is blind…well, it should be during the honeymoon phase anyway. If your relationship is relatively new but little things about your partner are already starting to annoy you, this is a big warning sign. Over time these things aren’t going to go away, they’re just going to get more annoying.

2. You fantasise about time alone

When you’re with someone you really like, especially at the start of the relationship, you tend to want to spend every second together. However, if you find yourself fantasising about that evening you can spend alone watching the TV shows your partner hates, or that weekend you have coming up where you can spend some time on your own, you’re settling.

3. You constantly think about the sands of time

Love isn’t a practical thing. You fall in love with someone despite all the odds, not to fulfil a purpose. If you keep telling yourself that this is your last chance, and you probably won’t find anyone else then you really are settling. You’re never too old to find love but you’re always too young to settle.

4. You’re attempting a make-over

If you keep a mental to do list of the things you think your partner could improve on then you’ve got problems. As we’ve said time and time again on eHarmony Advice, you should never begin a relationship thinking you can change the other person to be your ideal partner. Your soul mate will seem right from the very start.

5. You gloss over your partner’s faults

On the opposite end of the spectrum is the person who ignores all their partner’s faults. So what if she never does any housework, at least she comes home when she says she will. Or so what if he never tells me he loves me, at least he loads the dishwasher properly. Your partner doesn’t need to be perfect but they do need to be right.

6. You’re always making excuses for your partner

Do you find yourself saying things like ‘She’s had a really tough year’ or ‘He can’t help it’ to your friends and family when they question aspects of your partner’s personality or habits? You shouldn’t have to make excuses to your loved ones about your partner. You should either be honest with them, or get out of the relationship.


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