7 qualities all great relationships share
Shared values lie at the heart of every great relationship, but which are the ones you should aspire to? Rebecca Perkins details the 7 qualities that all great relationships share
One of the first exercises I give to clients I’m working with to create an irresistible dating profile is to find out what their values are. Values are those things that guide us in life, the things that are really important to us. Then, we dig around a bit until we find out what their core values are – these are your North Star, they guide you in making day-to-day decisions and choices and dictate how you live your life. These are individual to everyone, but there are a few that crop up time and time again. I believe that it’s these shared values that help to create great relationships.
Being able to be open with your partner is a sign of a great relationship. Knowing that you can be an authentic version of yourself without fear of being questioned or laughed at; to be able to ask for what you want; to be vulnerable and know that you are held by your partner; to be able to discuss what’s on your mind without judgement – these are all signs of a strong relationship. Openness is about having honest communication without trying to score points.
Life is tough enough without bringing it into your relationships. Walking on eggshells around your partner is not a sign of ease. Ease is beautiful, it’s feeling comfortable in each other’s company; being to able to sit in silence without feeling the need to fill the empty space; it’s laughter and fun – all beautiful things to have in a relationship.
Kindness costs us nothing yet it’s surprising how often in our over-scheduled and stressed lives that we forget the enormous value in showing a little kindness. A great relationship is one where we consciously ‘choose’ our partner every day; we choose to love them, we choose to say something kind to them, to do something for them and to surprise them.
The brave soul apologises first. Know that we are all human, we all have bad days and we all make mistakes. Accepting and seeking forgiveness is one of the greatest strengths of a strong relationship. Always jump in first because holding onto grudges damages a relationship.
Respect is all about appreciating that your partner has different views and opinions and that’s okay. It’s valuing and loving them even though you might not feel the same way about things and appreciating that we’re all human.
We all need time alone and we all need our own space to grow and develop. Acknowledging this in a relationship is a sign of understanding and maturity. Introverts in a relationship will need more space than extroverts and respecting this is important.
7. A common purpose
The author Antoine de St Exupéry said, ‘Love does not consist of gazing at each other, but in looking outward together in the same direction.’ Having a common purpose and shared goals is a sign of a strong and long-lasting relationship.
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