Telling lust from love

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Most people have confused lust for love at some point. The first time this happens is usually during those awkward teenage years, when any kind of feeling is a novelty. That kind of confusion is fine when you’re a teenager as it all counts towards your education in the complex world of human relationships. Unfortunately, it happens to a lot of adults too, and that’s where things become more serious. That’s where brief affairs destroy relationships because one participant took things too seriously. Or it’s when one half of a dating couple takes things way too fast, because they can’t read a situation properly.

So, how do you separate lust from love and save yourself heartbreak in the process? Here are four questions you need to ask yourself if you’re faced with this dilemma.

Is it lust or love?
One positive thing you should know about lust is that will often precede love, and sometimes they even overlap. However, sometimes lust is just lust, with no loving relationship to follow. Lust is that initial need to be with someone, that feeling that makes you want to see them all the time. Love is what keeps you together in the long term. Lust equals attraction, whereas love is a deep, meaningful connection. You can see how dangerous it can be to confuse the two.

A physical or emotional attraction?
Love helps you feel a true emotional connection with your partner. Their emotional well-being will be of the utmost importance to you, and your feelings will be deeply connected with their own. Lust leads you to romance, and it’s best to think of it as a way of narrowing down your own dating pool before going on to look for that elusive feeling of love. It will help you feel deeply physically attracted to someone, but with lust alone you’ll be missing that all important emotional attraction.

Are you in it for the long run?
As we mentioned above, lust is what you feel at first but love is what keeps you in a relationship. If you’re planning on just having some fun then really all this is moot, you just need to keep having fun, dating and being effectively single. But if you’re looking for something more serious your end goal has to be love because that’s what will keep you together.


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