3 ways to get over your ex

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It would be great if we could have the ability to sever all ties as soon as a relationship breaks down. Imagine the emotional pain we’d avoid. But, unfortunately, as living, feeling human beings this just isn’t possible. We’ve all had at least one break up that affected us in a devastating way, both physically and emotionally. It’s that period of time where you think you’ll never feel or love again, and you just want to hide in a hole and never come out. And there’s nothing wrong with feeling that pain, and learning from it. However, there is something wrong if it continues on and starts to affect your future romantic prospects.

Nothing compares to the pain of lost love, and we don’t have a cure-all method. But we do have three strategies that can help you start to see the wood for the trees when it comes to getting over your ex.

Take off the rose tinted specs
All of us – no matter how cynical we usually are – have a tendency to romanticise the past. This isn’t incredibly surprising; after all, who wants to admit to themselves that their past life has been anything but wine and roses. Plus, the bad memories often fade far quicker than the good ones. You’re much more likely to remember strolling along a beach at sunset rather than the argument you had about going to a family member’s birthday party.

When your break-up has been recent, this kind of romanticising can be very risky. Start pondering over the good times again and you’ll end up asking yourself why you ever broke up. And that’s the kind of question that leads you to have a few too many drinks and make a midnight call to your ex.

Start to separate fact from fiction and be totally honest in your memory of your relationship. If you find your mind drifting back to one of those good times, pinch yourself and try to remember that there was a very good reason why you broke up. Simply being able to do this will be a huge help.

Clear the decks – and your mind
There are some very practical things you can do to cut those ties to your old relationship. Firstly, write a letter to your ex saying everything you ever wanted to say – then shred it. You can get things off your chest without causing the other person pain.

Now, start afresh. If you still have reminders of your ex scattered around your home, it’s time to move them out of view. We’re not saying you need to burn everything they ever gave you, but having a framed photo of them on the mantelpiece will only serve as a constant reminder of them. If you really can’t bear to part with some keepsakes, put them in a box in the attic. Chances are you’ll soon forget them, and the next time you come across the box you’ll barely be able to remember how you felt.

Look to the future
It’s hard, we know, to think about future relationships when you’re still struggling with the loss of your past relationship. But, just forcing yourself to think about the future can help you detach yourself from the past. The possibilities now, despite being scary, are also endless. Who knows who you might meet next? And you might meet them next week, or next year, but you will meet them (as unlikely as that sounds now). It’s time to focus on you so start dreaming about the future rather than the past!


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