5 ways to get over an ex
Are you struggling to get over an ex? Here are 5 ways to deal with heartbreak as quickly and painlessly as possible
Many people don’t move on with their life after a relationship break-up, not because there aren’t lots of eligible singles out there, but because they’ve never really got over their ex. Here are 5 pieces of essential break-up advice that will help you deal with your break-up and start getting over someone.
1. Have a dating detox
This is a great way to kick-start your love life after a break-up. It sounds contradictory, but the best way forward is sometimes to stop and give yourself time to heal. You could try:
– If your relationship lasted a year or less – have a 30 day detox.
– 2-3 years – 60 day detox.
– 3+ years – 90 day detox.
Don’t sit about moping about your ex and how much you miss them, instead begin to rebuild your dented confidence. Start treating yourself with the love and respect that you would want a new partner to treat you with.
Cook yourself healthy meals, have a lie in with the papers at the weekend, and buy yourself small gifts. Do whatever you need to do to treat yourself. Overeating, smoking, drinking or getting involved in a rebound relationship will only make you feel worse, not better.
Don’t participate in any dating activities until the end of your detox and you’ll be amazed at how much better you feel.
2. Let it all come up
It’s easy to get obsessive about an ex, especially when you try not to think about them. In fact, the more you try to block those thoughts, the more they invade your mind. The trick is to let thoughts come up but don’t dwell on them. It’s like looking in the rear view mirror in a car – a glance is useful but if you stare, you’re likely to crash.
When memories or thoughts arise, try writing them down and then letting them go. You could write your ex a letter that you’ll never actually send or keep a private journal of your feelings.
By indulging these feelings – but not acting on them – you’ll eventually get to the point that you don’t want to anymore. Chocolate factories let their workers eat as many chocolates as they like for the same reason; eventually, they get sick of them. The same is true of thinking of your ex.
3. Let go
Many people are afraid to let go because they think if they stay close and available, there’s a chance their ex might come back. The irony is that by holding on and not moving on with your life you’re stopping that from ever happening.
As the saying goes; if you love something, let it go. If it comes back, it’s yours forever. If it doesn’t, then it was never meant to be.
4. Have a clear out
This is a great thing to do as part of your dating detox. It shouldn’t be done in anger (or under the influence of alcohol), as you might make rash decisions that you’ll regret later. On a day when you feel strong enough, collect all the things in your home that remind you of your ex and get rid of them. For some people this will mean throwing them away, for others putting them away in a box to be kept.
Whatever you do with the photos, cards, gifts etc., it’s important to clear them out so you can make space in your life for something new to come in.
5. Fall in love
There’s no better way to get over an ex than to fall in love again. When you’re ready you’ll know, but avoid doing it too soon. The very act of putting yourself out there in the dating arena can be tremendously healing. You can’t rewrite the past but you can always create a different future for yourself.
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