How to cope when you’re heartbroken at Christmas
Being heartbroken at Christmas can feel like the end of the world, but it doesn’t have to stop you enjoying the celebration, says Laura Yates
Break-ups – and feeling heartbroken – are tough enough as it is, but they can be even more difficult to deal with over Christmas. Though the festive season can be an amazing time of year to be single, if it’s the first one you’ll spend without your ex or your break-up is recent, it can make you want to steer clear of all the Christmas cheer completely!
While there’s no quick fix to deal with the sadness that you’ll inevitably feel, the good news is that, with a bit of a change in mind set, it can be reduced.
Here are some tips for having a happy Christmas – even if you’re heartbroken:
Start your resolutions early
Why not get a head start before Christmas? After all, there’s no reason why your resolutions have to wait until January. It’s a great way to end the year on a positive note. See the festive period as part of your new beginning and be even bolder with your resolutions than you normally would. Make bigger and more radical plans and use the time you have to really embrace the opportunities that being single presents. You can still feel the sadness, but use it to fuel your focus on the future.
Don’t make vague resolutions. Heartbreak can spur life-changing decisions if you’re open to them. Do you have an inner desire to start a business that you’ve never pursued before, go on a trip that you keep putting off, learn a new skill, or make changes to your lifestyle?
And if you don’t want to be single, what can you do about that? Can you try online dating; write a more compelling online dating profile, go to a singles event, or plan to do things that will widen your social circle and increase your chances of meeting someone? Try doing new things for yourself too. You’re more likely to meet someone who is more aligned to what you want when you’re doing things that make you happy – and not dwelling on your ex or being single!
Do something for someone else
No matter how many times people tell you that Christmas is about being with the people you love, or that there’s always someone worse off than you, let’s face it; when you’re feeling heartbroken, it doesn’t make you feel any better. Actually knowing that you’ve done something can lift your spirits so much. It doesn’t have to be anything sensational either. It could be helping out a local charity for a few hours, letting a friend know that you’re thinking of them, making someone a gift, or just surprising a friend who’s been there for you. Doing things for others will take the focus off what you’re going through.
Do something for yourself
Try to use this Christmas as a time to heal and re-group; focus on self-care, talk to yourself as you would a friend, and show yourself compassion. Don’t spend too much time alone, allow your friends and family to be there for you, and take comfort in that. If you don’t feel up to being the life and soul of the party just yet, that’s fine; but do try to attend some social events – and be present at them. Dress up and get involved – even if it feels like you’re faking it until you make it!
The better you feel in yourself, the more likely that you’ll want to get out and about too, so do things that make you feel good. Pampering yourself, working out, resisting too much over-indulgence so that you have energy, indulging in a great new outfit or haircut – it may all sound superficial but anything that gives you a boost is something that you deserve. It is Christmas, after all!
While you can’t ignore the despair of heartbreak at Christmas, you can still make the festive season enjoyable. Remember to keep perspective; it’s just one part of the year that we can attach our own meaning to. So, shake things up and give a different meaning to it. Allow yourself to enjoy the festivities and don’t deprive yourself. You deserve far more. Let’s get the New Year started with a new perspective.
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