How to have more fun
As part of our Love Sundays campaign we’re challenging you to make the most of your Me Time, and what better way to do that than by simply having some frivolous fun? Don’t know where to start? Let eHarmony be your guide…
Whatever your age having an element of fun in your life each and every day will help you feel more positive, energised and make all the hard work worth it. It is easy to forget that life is meant to be fun so whether you need help in getting out of a rut or just to put the spring back into your step, here are some useful suggestions.
Stop the mental chatter
Sometimes a lot of the fun is drained out of life because even when we are doing activities we enjoy we are worrying about our problems. This kind of mental activity can feel like we are doing something useful because our mind is searching for solutions. More often than not though our mind just gets stuck on a repetitive loop of worry and anxiety as we replay a difficult conversation or plan exactly what we are going to say to our boss etc. This mental chatter stops us from being present to what we are doing and means that even in the most idyllic circumstances we can feel stressed and anxious.
Many people give up the hobbies and activities they used to enjoy because the mental chatter gets so bad that they feel guilty and irresponsible for having fun when there are such serious problems that need our attention. The good news is that having more fun will actually make you feel more resourceful when you do turn your attention to problems because you will have recharged your batteries.
It takes practice to turn off the mental chatter. Some people advocate daily meditation while others find it helpful to write down whatever is on their mind. Whatever way you find helps try to completely let go of all your worries for a small part of each day. Remember most worries are set in to past – regret over things that have happened – or in the future – worry about things that might happen. If you have one foot in yesterday and one foot in tomorrow you are missing out on today and all the potential fun that it has to offer.
Know what your personal idea of fun is
Everybody’s idea of what constitutes fun will be different. Some people love thrills like bungee jumping while others prefer sensual pleasure like massage. Some people love to play board games and others long to dance. Do you know what things you really enjoy? What activities do you get completely consumed in so that time passes and you don’t even realise it? Make a list of your top ten fun activities including things you would like to try because you think they might be fun. The list doesn’t have to include anything to do with self-development, keeping fit or other noble causes, just things that are pure fun to you no matter how silly, childish or indulgent they may appear to other people.
Once you have your list pick three things you can do today and put some of the others on the calendar to try in the coming weeks and months. It is too easy to think we don’t have time to indulge in these pleasures but they don’t have to be big, time-consuming or expensive activities. Putting on a few favourite tunes and dancing around the living room, spending time in the garden or playing with your children – whatever it is you love to do but don’t make time for – these are the things that enrich our lives and make all our hard work in other areas worth while.
Revisit childhood pleasures
Children have an inbuilt ability to have fun and can make anything into a game wherever they are. As we grow older we seem to forget how to do this and often give up the hobbies we had when we were young. What did you love to do when you were 10? Whatever it was is it still in your life now? If it is possible try to bring it back in some way, join a choir if you loved to sing, dust off the instrument you used to play, get out in the park and kick a ball around if that was your thing. Life can quickly seem monotonous and boring if we don’t nurture the side of ourselves that needs to play.
We may think that our idea of fun is sitting in front of the TV eating a tub of ice cream but how does it make you feel? Doing something physical each day like skipping, dancing or bouncing on the bed boosts self-esteem, reduces stress and anxiety and fills us with lovely, feel-good endorphins. Not only will you feel better but you will also start to look better and the world will seem like a brighter place.
Tip: You know you are having fun when you are no longer self-conscious doing whatever it is you are doing.
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