Singles New Year Survival Guide

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Many people find the whole holiday period a bit of a challenge if they are single but New Year can intensify feelings of loneliness and isolation. Here are 12 suggestions to help you take a proactive approach and make sure 2012 starts with you feeling good about yourself and ready to create a future that is different from your past.

1. Stay in and review your year
Gratitude does more to dispel feelings of sadness than any amount of booze or chocolate so look through the past year and all the things that have made it memorable.

2. Bring the party home
If you do really want to party but can’t face going out invite some other single friends over to see the New Year in together. It doesn’t have to cost a fortune or be a big knees up, you could all do your reviews of the year and share them with each other.

3. Do something for charity
Many people help at Christmas but by New Year good will has often been forgotten. If you are feeling hard done by, lonely or like your self esteem has taken a battering, going and helping people less fortunate than yourself will dispel it all. Contact your local church or volunteer centre to find out how you could help.

4. Don’t drown your sorrows
It’s tempting to open a large bottle of alcohol and wallow in your misery but alcohol is a depressant and will no doubt leave you feeling worse than you did before. By all means have a glass or two but be careful, especially when it comes to calling, emailing and texting people when you feel low and a bit squiffy.

5. Start as you mean to go on
How do you want 2012 to be? Take a look at your life and situation and see if there are things you would like to change. Don’t go in for self-assassination; find one thing you could realistically change that would improve your life and focus on that.

6. Be bold
If you have been invited to a party or out somewhere but are holding out on going because you don’t want to go on your own, ask someone to go with you. Maybe you have matches who have shown interest but you have been too shy to make contact. Now is the time to do something different.

7. Say yes
Sometimes the hardest thing to do is say YES to life. We are limited only by our imagination. There is nothing you could do as a couple on New Years that you can’t do on your own if you really want to. Take your life off hold and start living.

8. Examine the possibilities
Realistically what are your choices for how you spend New Year? Are there matches trying to make contact with you that you have dismissed simply because you didn’t like their photo or location? Are there social places right on your doorstep you have never been to? Are you receiving invitations but dismissing them on the grounds that you are single? Sometimes we can think there is nothing to do and no-one to do it with but really we just aren’t looking.

9. Open your mind
Sometimes we get stuck in old ways of thinking and behaving and instead of making conscious choices we are stuck in outdated habits of mind. If you want your life situation to change the chances are that you will have to change, as Gandhi said ‘be the change you want to see in the world’. New Year is a great time to practice being different. See how it feels to go to a party to see what you can give to it rather than what you can get from it.

10. Throw out the old
Nothing new can come into your life until you have cleared space for it and that is true for relationships as much as anything else. New year is a good time to let go of old loves, clear out the emails, photos, gifts and memories and have a good cry over them if you need to.

11. Welcome in the new
Let yourself dream. Where do you want to be one year from now? Make the dream really big, clear and vivid. Write it down and put it somewhere where you can read it next year. Keep it real, achievable and focussed.

12. Fall in love
Make your new years resolution to spread love rather than find love and that means whenever and wherever you can. With a full life and an open heart and mind you are sure to attract more love into your own life too.


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