Why you’re never too busy to find love online


No one is too busy to find love. If you’re thinking, ‘well, you haven’t met me!’ then you’re just not trying hard enough. Yep, this is some tough love coming from the eHarmony Advice team; you can always make time, especially to find love. Still not convinced? Here’s how.

Get your priorities right
Lots of career minded people use their busy jobs as an excuse – ‘I just don’t have the time for dating at the moment’ – but your job won’t be the thing that comforts you at the end of a tough day. We’re not saying a relationship is the be all and end all, but deep down most people want someone to share their life with. If you’re someone who thinks they’re too busy to look for love, ask yourself if that’s true, or if you’re just scared of looking. Being single can be rough, especially when friends constantly ask if you’ve met anyone, and sometimes it’s just easier to fall back on the old job excuse. But if you’re reading this we can assume you want to make a change in your life.

If you are genuinely very busy with work, apply those skills that make you so successful in the work place to your dating life. Use your time wisely, multitask and get to the point. We’ll expand on this later…

Work out what you want
If you know yourself well enough, and know what you want from a partner and a relationship, then you’ll be better equipped to make informed choices about the people you date. A good starting point for this – whether you’re registered with eHarmony or not – is to spend some time one evening listing your 10 Must Haves and Can’t Stands in a partner. For example, maybe a Must Have is that they want children or share your sense of humour, and a Can’t Stand is that they shouldn’t smoke or aren’t domineering.

Start off by simply writing down all the things a prospective partner must have and also what you couldn’t stand in them, then whittle each list down to ten items. Prioritising the ten characteristics on each list that are essential to you will help you focus on what you really want from a relationship.

Make your profile really clear
Fill out every section of your online dating profile, and make it very clear what you want from a relationship – this should weed out any time wasters. At eHarmony, the fact that we match you based on deep-compatibility, means that you’re already half way there, but every little helps.

However, being clear doesn’t mean being blunt.  Rather than saying, ‘I’m looking for a willing wife/husband. Must be able to put up with my long working hours’, try something a little less off putting like, ‘I’m looking for a serious relationship, but I want to have fun on the journey. I love my job, but it does involve long hours. However, that means I appreciate my free time even more!’

Scrutinise your matches’ profiles
You should also read the profile of anyone you’re interested in very carefully. If you had the time to date lots of people based on the ‘might as well’ theory you could afford not to do this. But, with time at a premium, you want to make sure that if you’re going on a date with someone then they do tick all your boxes. If they don’t match up to your 10 Must Haves and Can’t Stands then you should ask yourself if you’d really be able to have a future with them.

Lay off the emails and phone calls
We say this to everyone, not just busy daters: get to the point with a prospective date. It’s good to exchange emails and phone calls before you meet, but don’t drag it out. For one thing, after months of emailing you might meet and discover you have no spark, and you’ll have both wasted your time. Plus, exchanging endless emails often leads to the email chain fizzling out, and neither side actually doing anything about meeting up. Take action! After all, what’s a couple of hours of your time if you could potentially meet the love of your life.

Make a lunch time date
In the UK we’re a bit too stuck in our ways when it comes to making dates. We tend to assume that a date must be in an evening, incorporating dinner and/or drinks. The truth is, dates can be anytime and anywhere.  Lunchtime dates are great if you work near each other, and that hour time slot gives you a get out clause if you don’t hit it off. (You really can afford to eat lunch away from your desk one day a week.) Alternatively, a coffee date is another short, low-pressured date that you can fit in over lunch, or on a weekend.

If this article gave you the confidence to find your match, try eharmony today!

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