You won’t be single forever… so embrace it!
It won’t last forever, so why not make the most of your single status while you can? Charly Lester shares her tips on accepting and embracing the single life
If it’s been a while since your last relationship, it’s easy to start feeling like your single status has become permanent. Particularly when you get to your 30s and 40s and everyone around you is coupling up. And it you’ve just come out of a marriage or a long-term relationship, you may find yourself thinking that you’ve already had your ‘one chance’ and you failed.
Sadly, failure and being single are ideas that too often come hand in hand. Society has programmed us to feel like we’re incomplete unless we’re in a relationship. But being single is simply a stage of life, and it’s one that people often don’t appreciate enough!
We’ve all got friends who move from one relationship to the next with barely any pause; friends who are too scared to spend time on their own. But being single is vital to growing up and learning about yourself; it’s a formative part of being self-sufficient and able to stand on your own two feet.
It’s also really important to know yourself and know what’s truly important to you. A real partner shouldn’t ‘complete’ you – he or she should complement you. In order to find the perfect partner, you need to properly understand yourself, and then the search from someone who is truly a good fit can take time and effort.
The thing about relationship status is that the grass is often greener on the other side. You only have to chat about your love life with your coupled-up friends to realise just how much the single life fascinates them. The whole concept of dating is a relatively new phenomenon, and as singles, we enjoy more choice in the search for a partner than anyone before us. The tough part is appreciating just what you have!
Yes, being single can suck, but it can also be an incredible experience. When you’re single you answer to no one, and at no other point in your life will you be able to just jump on a plane and fly to the other side of the world, or stay out all night without a second thought.
And as a single person dating, you have a unique opportunity to meet strangers every week and have a drink or dinner, or enjoy a show together. The conversations we have on dates are completely different to any other area of our lives, and one of the most interesting things about talking with a stranger is remembering all the anecdotes and tales that we don’t usually bring up in conversations with friends who already know us well.
Use your single time wisely. Focus on your career. Exercise to your heart’s content. Travel. Read. Use this time to become the very best version of yourself. Then, when you’re ready to start dating again, make the most of the experience. Meet lots of different people. Learn about yourself and work out which qualities are truly important to you in a partner. Explore the city you live in, and give other people a chance. You never know who you might meet, or what role he or she may end up playing in your life.
Right now, being single might seem like a life sentence, but I promise, in a few weeks or months or years, you’ll look back and remember this time with a twinkle in your eye. After all, one of the most exciting parts about being single is that you might just meet your life partner tomorrow!
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