10 ways to make eHarmony work for you – by our success couples


At eHarmony Advice we reckon we know quite a bit about how to get the best from eHarmony. After all, we’ve seen hundreds of user profiles and have a good idea about what works and what doesn’t. But, we’re amateurs compared with our success couples who have used eHarmony – experiencing their own ups and downs – and found love. So, we decided to ask the real experts what their top tips would be for any current eHarmony users.

Here are their own tips, in their own words. Check out their stories too, if you’d like to know about the people behind the knowledge!

1. Be honest
“Show your photo as it is, warts ‘n’ all! Also, make sure you’re honest in what you say about yourself and with the in-depth profile that you complete when you first get started.   You get out what you put in!”  – Linda, married to Malcolm in November 2010

2.    Use Guided Communication to your advantage
“Pay attention to the Guided Communication questions that you send. There are loads and you will want to ask more than the 3 you’re allowed but I memorised some for a later point in the communication process and slotted them in when I was emailing my match (who is now my fiancé by the way!)” – Dean matched with Sue and engaged April 2009

3.    Post photos
“Make sure you put a few pictures on as soon as possible. To most of us looks aren’t the most important but they obviously count so get as many pics on your profile as you can. Try and have them with you in different situations like at home chilling, out enjoying yourself be it at a pub or enjoying a hobby. Pictures speak like you wouldn’t believe and give an idea of the kind of lifestyle you have.” – Dean matched with Sue and engaged April 2009

4.    Don’t presume
“Don’t think you out of someone’s league based on looks or interests that may differ.  People are a lot deeper than that, and the outcome may be a pleasant surprise.” – Sue matched with Dean and engaged April 2009

5.    Look forward
“If you’ve had a bad experience in the past, leave it there, in the past.  Move forward.  Every relationship is unique so don’t be afraid of falling in love again. . . “ – Sue matched with Dean and engaged April 2009

6.    Spend time on your profile
“What’s the best way to catch chickens?  Cover yourself in chicken feed!  Spend time making sure your profile reflects exactly who you are when you are excited and lit up by life, accent your best points and be open, honest and authentic.  Make sure your profile is full of emotion and passion about the things that are already working for you in your life.  Keep away from sentences containing the words “if”, “but”, “when” and “sometimes” – this is your shop window,  be proud of how great you are!  Have your profile draw people in and leave them interested in finding out more.” – Martin, married to Morwenna in September 2010

7.    Don’t be in a rush to meet
“Use the safe, private email facility within eHarmony to get a ‘feel’ for what he/she is like.”  – Linda, married to Malcolm in November 2010

8.    Don’t submit to your negative inner voice
“Don’t write off an interesting match because a little voice in your head butts in and says something unhelpful about yourself or a circumstance outside of your control.  When I first looked at my wife’s profile I felt an instant attraction for her, but a little voice piped up and said “She’s more than 60 miles away, how’s that going to work?  She’s way too good for you anyway”.  I ignored it and sent her an icebreaker; what followed was 3 weeks of daily emails followed by us meeting up halfway.  We got on so well I decided to move in with her 3 weeks later.  Put your trust in the matching system, it might not always be right, but you’ll never know how good a match is until you follow it through.  The little voice knows nothing; it’s just scared of losing you!” – Martin, married to Morwenna in September 2010

9. Don’t put all of your eggs in one basket
“Even if you find someone who you really like the look of, don’t wait for days and days and put all of your romantic hopes onto receiving a response from that one person. Keep looking and reminding yourself that if you don’t get a response from a match, then it could be for ample reasons, not that you’re a minger!” – Katy, married to Stu in November 2010

10.    Have fun!
“For anyone who struggles to get out and meet people – because of lack of time, money or confidence – online dating can be lots of fun. Let your mates have a look at your matches, have a cheeky flirt. Do it in the evenings when you’ve settled down with a glass of wine or bar of chocolate and treat it a little like a night out doing some window shopping of the opposite sex!” – Katy, married to Stu in November 2010

If this article gave you the confidence to find your match, try eharmony today!

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