19 lines not to include in your online dating profile

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Writing a dating profile

Need help creating a great online dating profile? Jo Middleton has some advice on a few things you might prefer to leave out

There’s a lot of advice available out there on how to write the perfect online dating profile. The majority of it is fairly straightforward: be yourself; be honest; be unique. It’s all designed to help you stand out from the crowd at the same time as presenting a realistic and charming version of yourself.

The trouble is that, in trying to stand out, it’s all too easy to reveal a little too much about yourself. Either that or we go to the opposite extreme and, in trying to appeal to as many people as possible, we end up writing a dating profile that could have been copied and pasted from about three million equally uninspiring profiles online.

I’ve drawn on my own experience, and asked some friends, to pull together a handy list of 19 lines that you might want to avoid using if you don’t want to come across as dull, or downright scary.

Or, you know, throw them all in! You’d definitely stand out then…

  1. ‘I’m not really looking for a partner but my mates said I needed to get out there!’
  2. ‘I’m equally happy going for a big night out as I am staying home.’ (N.B What does this even mean? It tells me nothing about who you are.)
  3. ‘I asked my ex for suggestions of what to write here!’
  4. ‘I’m a fun-loving kinda guy/girl.’ (N.B What is actually fun for you though? Give me something!)
  5. ‘I’ve had my heart broken three times and I’m sick of being hurt.’
  6. ‘I’m not sure what to write here, so just message me if you want to get to know me.’ (N.B Definitely not going to do that.)
  7. ‘In my spare time I enjoy categorising my collection of mutated dolls.’
  8. ‘I’m not really into that whole ‘monogamy’ myth.’
  9. ‘Something I’m proud of? Well, I’ve never eaten a piece of fruit. And I once shot a cat from really far off.’
  10. ‘I’m different to most people you’ll meet on these sites.’
  11. ‘My wife and I are looking for…’
  12. ‘Im just a reglar bloke looking four love I guess.’ (N.B And clearly still needs to find spellcheck!)
  13. ‘I like blue eyes and blonde hair. Yes I’m picky, but I can afford to be.’
  14. ‘Gosh, this is a hard one isn’t it? I’m going to give it a go lol!’
  15. ‘My kids suggested I start dating as they’d really like a new mummy.’
  16. ‘I don’t have any friends, but that’s by choice.’
  17. ‘I’d love to meet someone who shares my passion for petrochemicals.’
  18. ‘My picture is a little out of date.’ (N.B or one you found in a magazine at the dentist.)

And finally, the classic…

  1. ‘I like country pubs and snuggling on the sofa with a DVD and a bottle of red.’

Yawn.

Sorry to break it to you, but everybody in the entire world likes doing this.


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