eharmony Love Stories: Adam and Heather
Adam and Heather met on eharmony in May 2016 and marred in August 2017 despite living 4000 miles apart! Here they talk us through their transatlantic love story
‘I’d been single for some years before joining eharmony; I’d been married before and had a few negative dating experiences unfortunately. However, I knew that I was ready to meet someone and thought it was unlikely I’d meet anyone in my day-to-day life.
I liked eharmony as it matched me with people that could be ‘my type.’ I received many matches and chatted to a few, but it was Heather’s profile that made me nervous, excited and filled with me intrigue. I wanted to learn so much more about her, but I knew I probably had one shot at an introduction.
We had an instant connection. After two or three days of us speaking constantly, I said I’d like to take her out for dinner one weekend but, given that she lives in the US and I live in the UK, meeting up was going to be hard. Nonetheless, I booked tickets to meet her within a couple of days of us first exchanging messages.
The first date
On our first date we spent the weekend together in Atlanta. There was an ice storm, so the usually balmy city was replaced with extreme cold! We went to look at engagement rings that weekend and I saw the one that I eventually bought three weeks later. After that, we spoke every day for several hours at a time. It would regularly get to 11pm or midnight Eastern time and Heather would say that she needed to go to bed. As it was 5am in the UK, I simply didn’t sleep some nights.
Our relationship is based on tremendous trust and honesty. The relationship couldn’t have developed if we hadn’t been completely honest with each other. This has led to us both crying at times, and the physical separation that the Atlantic creates is a huge frustration, but we have considerable trust in one another and value it greatly.
We find it very easy to talk as we spent so much time talking over the phone at the start of our relationship. We don’t get to read body language or facial expressions, so we have to be honest. Having been in relationships in the past where games are played, and deceit is commonplace, our relationship is refreshing and hugely rewarding. We match on so many levels, but primarily we value, respect and trust one another.
As long as I’m with Heather I’m not worried about what the future might hold. It might sound twee but I think you get to a stage in life when you realise that your values have changed. That’s not to belittle what others may feel, particularly those that are younger as I had different plans when I was that age too, but when I met Heather, I re-evaluated everything.’
‘Adam and I’s relationship is unusual in that we only get to see each other every six to eight weeks – this pattern started when we were dating and has remained now we’re married. Things moved fast for us; on our first date in Atlanta, Adam met my friends and family, and I met his on my first trip to see him in the UK. Before we met, we used ‘I miss you’ as code for ‘I love you’ as Adam didn’t want to say it for the first time over the phone but we were ready to say the words when we first met.
I had a pretty good idea that Adam was going to propose when he did. He’d already asked my parents and daughter for permission and we were walking along the beach when I turned to him and said, “You’re going to propose here, aren’t you?”
The next step is for one of us to move. We use all of our holidays as opportunities to see each other but as soon as jobs and visas are sorted, we can’t wait to move in together.’
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