Gallery: 8 online communication no-nos
1. Copy + paste
There’s nothing to make someone feel less special than the realisation that their match has copied and pasted a response to them - and possibly tens of other matches too. It’s very simple: if you can’t give a match 5 minutes of your time to write them an original email, based on their profile, then you shouldn’t be emailing them at all.
2. Being boring
Everyone has their own idea of what ‘boring’ means, but we can probably all agree that any communication that is purely generic won’t inspire a response. For example: “I hope you’re OK, have you had a nice day?”, isn’t very exciting. However, mentioning something about their profile or something relating to current affairs instantly makes the message more personalised and more interesting – meaning you’re more likely to get a response.
3. Being weird
In order to stand out, some people try to be unusual in their first email to a new match. They might tell a risqué joke, or even try being sarcastic or rude. The problem with this approach is that most people don’t want a wise cracking, sarcasm monster as a date, they just want someone interesting and fun. Always be yourself, but don’t scare the horses either.
4. Being needy
Neediness is not an attractive quality. Have you ever heard someone say, ‘Oh, I wish my partner was more needy!’ – no, we didn’t think so. Begging, pleading and nagging are not appropriate tactics when talking online. The same goes for following up on an already sent message: one, simple, ‘Did you get my message?’ a few days later is OK, bombarding your poor match with emails is not.
5. Poor spelling and grammar
In the days of spell check, there is little excuse for poor spelling. Grammar can be a bit trickier, but you shouldn’t be embarrassed to show your message to a friend and ask them for a quick proof read. In fact, 40% of eHarmony users said that it was their biggest messaging sin.
6. Only talking about you
They say it takes two to tango, and that applies at every stage of a relationship. If you message a match with lots of information about yourself and no regard for them, then don’t be surprised if you don’t hear back from them!
7. Living in email-land
Online dating is great because it introduces you to people you may never have met otherwise. However, it can also encourage some people to try and live out their relationships online. By all means start to get to know your matches online, but once you’ve exchanged a few emails suggest meeting up in person. Otherwise you risk getting attached to someone, only to meet and discover there’s no real life chemistry.
8. Not communicating
Whether you’re looking to meet someone online or elsewhere, you need to be proactive. You wouldn’t sit at home waiting for your perfect partner to knock on your door, so you shouldn’t join an online dating site and hope someone will communicate with you. You need to reach out to matches who catch your eye. They may well be shy, or might just have missed your profile. You’ll never know until you drop them a line!
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