How to make your eHarmony profile stand out
I initially had my reservations about online dating. But I went into it as I thought it would be fun, and if nothing came of it I would at least have some funny stories to tell. You know what they say; don’t knock it till you’ve tried it. You might be pleasantly surprised! Well, I was.
My name’s Jessica and I joined eHarmony in October 2011 for a 3 month membership. After 5 unsuccessful dates, I met Pete in mid December – less than a week before my membership ended! After a few dates and a lot of laughs, we became an official couple on 4th January. In March 2013 P proposed to me on a skiing trip in Switzerland and we’re now planning our wedding for 2015!
So, I decided that I would use my personal experience (and success) with eHarmony to share some tips on how to make your profile stand out.
Be up front
This is a huge deal for me. I cannot emphasise enough the importance of being honest on your profile. It’s better to be upfront and truthful from the start than having an extremely awkward first date. On Pete’s profile, his first sentence mentioned his daughter and how important she was to him. Although it raised questions in my head with regards to that extra responsibility in the relationship if it were to go further, I was glad I knew straight away and wasn’t caught off guard a few months down the line. No one should have small print; you’re a person, not a business contract!
Show your true self
Accurate pictures are something I feel quite strongly about, having experienced the disappointment of a poor photo! I’m all for an Instagram filter to give your picture that edge or even making it black and white to hide some of the flaws but do not start giving yourself a virtual transformation. It may get you more attention, but it will just be embarrassing when it comes to the date.
I went for photos that I already had; a face shot of when I had gone out, and a full length shot of me in the summer. I wanted my potential dates to see me, and not to hide anything. I also made sure they were pretty recent, and my hair was in a similar style. You might think that your blonde locks don’t look that different to your brown bob, but men will see you as a totally different person. Pete opted for a set of photos taken specifically for eHarmony, but they were taken outside in natural light so there were no more surprises for me.
Don’t try to be too funny
A sense of humour was one of my top priorities when finding a man, and because I always have a good laugh with my friends and family, this potential man had big boots to fill. Some people are able to write humorously about themselves and still come across as genuine, and that’s great, but writing a massive essay of things your date should and shouldn’t be with quips about how these people could never be a match for them is just plain rude. Your profile shouldn’t be a test, there should be no requests for people to quote a certain phrase to prove they read your profile, it’s just too much and you will push away potential matches that don’t necessarily fall in line with your every demand. You’ll have your first date to show your charisma and sense of humour, but jokes don’t always read so funny on paper.
I’m definitely an advocate of getting out on the dates within a few weeks, and a confident man or woman is always going to be appealing. However, don’t let that confidence turn into arrogance; you need to be realistic and understand that you won’t be everyone’s cup of tea. Accept the rejections, because someone better will come along. If you’ve sent a contact request, and you’ve not heard anything in a while, do not start sending requests for Facebook or asking for personal emails. The whole point of eHarmony ice breakers and email is it creates a safe distance, from which to communicate. No one wants to be inundated with messages from someone they don’t know, and aren’t particularly interested in. Anyone who sent me those kind of messages got an immediate red flag from me, and I didn’t’ bother replying.
Have realistic expectations
Whilst internet dating, my housemate at the time said to me that I should set my standards really high and only date the men that I found really attractive. Although I can see where she was coming from, I am in the opposite camp and feel you should give the men you wouldn’t normally date a chance. At the time I was internet dating, I lived in an area where I didn’t get many local matches. I tried to be open minded and I would encourage anyone else to so the same. In my mind I was looking for my tall, dark and handsome, but in reality I ended up dating a whole range of men. Ironically it was my date with a tall dark and handsome stranger that was by far the dullest and unexciting date. It taught me that although someone may sound perfect on paper, it’s all about the chemistry. So instead of discarding that someone who doesn’t look like the hunk you were expecting may turn out to be Mr Dreamboat after all! Pete was 5″8 with muscles and a shaved head, so nothing like the type of man I thought I would go for, but because I kept an open mind, I gave him a chance and now we’re very happy together!
If this article gave you the confidence to find your match, try eHarmony today!Join Now