How to view your dating profile with a realistic eye


One of the hardest parts of the whole online dating process is getting your profile right. Notoriously the British are very bad at singing their own praises but in this case you need to be able to strike the fine balance between modesty and coming across as a big shot. By the time you have filled in the questionnaire and spent some time trying to write something comprehensive about yourself you may well have lost perspective and be unable to tell if it is any good or not. Here are some tips to help you get some distance and view it more realistically.

Leave it for a couple of days – once you feel that you have completed your profile to the best of your ability stop working on it for a couple of days and try not to think about it. Sometimes we can get too close to a piece of writing – and if it is about you the content may be just too personal – and we lose objectivity. Most people keep on going until it is finished, or give up and post something they are not really happy with, when a couple of days away from it would have really helped them to regain perspective.

Print it out – when you come back to it don’t read it on the computer screen. Reading a printed copy will highlight things you may not have been aware of onscreen. Have a pen in hand and mark any things that you want to change or add.

Read it out loud – reading something aloud highlights any glaring errors in grammar or punctuation and you will get a sense of whether it ‘sounds’ true. If you have done a brilliant piece of writing but you don’t feel it is a true reflection of you then it is likely to inhibit you when it comes to talking to matches. The aim is to get a great piece of writing which is ‘authentic’ so that when a match meets you the profile fits the person in front of them.

Ask a friend to read it – choose a friend who you can rely on to tell you the truth. What you want to know from them is whether they think it reflects you,  if it is interesting to read and if there is anything that they think you should add or take away – sometimes friends see things about us that we are blind to so it is important to get an outside opinion. It can also be very useful to ask someone who shares similar attributes to the kind of person you are looking for to read it and ask them if they would find this description of someone attractive.

Post it for feedback – each month eHarmony posts an anonymous About Me profile on the advice site and invites impartial advice from other eHarmony users. It is an extremely useful way of getting feedback on your profile and one that is being used to good effect by many members. All you need to do to participate is email us the contents of your profile, indicating your gender, and whether you would be happy for us to use your first name, or you can keep it anonymous. Only comments that are considered to be constructive criticism will be published so you don’t need to worry about anyone making rude or disparaging remarks.

Remember you can go back and edit your profile at any time. Things happen and people change so keep your profile up to date so that it always reflects who you are today.

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