Insider knowledge: how to make your eharmony profile stand out
You know you’re an intelligent, witty person, but getting that across in your eHarmony profile might seem like a tough task. If you’re not great at selling yourself, here’s our inside advice on how to answer those generic profile questions
The main thing to remember is that being specific by adding in the little details that make you an individual will get you noticed. Take the attitude that the fuller and richer your profile, the more attractive and dedicated you’ll appear to your matches.
What are you most passionate about?
Focus on the word ‘passion’ here, and don’t be afraid to lay yourself a bit bare. We’re not talking about something you ‘sort of like’, this is about stuff you really love. A mixture of the material – ‘My rare Beatles vinyl collection’ – and the emotional – ‘Cultivating a wonderful relationship with my dearest friends – will show different facets of your character.
What are the three things for which you are most thankful?
Stating what you’re truly grateful for shows your matches the real you – which is why putting something like ‘Making lots of money’ will make you look a bit shallow. Instead, look at this a different way and put something like ‘Having a great career that lets me give back to the world, and explore my love of travelling’.
The four things your friends say about you are…
Avoid clichés here and don’t just list the adjectives that put you in a positive light. Instead go for a mix such as ‘Articulate’, ‘Energetic’, ‘Creative’ and ‘Spontaneous’. If in doubt, actually ask your friends – you’re sure to get an honest answer!
What are three of my BEST life skills?
As above, here’s it’s about getting the mix right. We’ve provided you with multiple choices, but don’t make yourself seem one-dimensional. For example by choosing ‘Raising for and caring for children’, ‘Leading a community service group’ and ‘Helping those who are less fortunate or in need’ you will come across as very caring, but you might also appear a bit worthy. Instead, choose a variation of skills which might include working on your personal relationships, your physical fitness or socialising.
How do you typically spend your leisure time?
This is your ideal opportunity to show your matches how you’d enjoy spending time with them if your relationship develops. Here, specific answers will really serve you well. For example ‘Spending time with friends’ is too general – who doesn’t enjoy this? Instead you could expand on this with an answer like ‘Getting a group of friends together for an energetic game of squash, or heading to our local pub quiz night (which we usually come last in!) to work our grey matter’.
Other than your parents, who has been the most influential person in your life and why?
This is a really telling question, as you can only choose one influential person. There are no right or wrong answers but you must be honest and sincere. If Mrs Jameson, your primary school English teacher, was a great influence on you, put that. But include some colour, for example: ‘Mrs Jameson, my primary school English teacher because she inspired me to read and write and greatly encouraged my creativity, which ultimately lead me onto the career path I’m on today.’
What’s the most important thing you’re looking for in another person?
If your answers seem obvious – like attractiveness and a sense of humour – that’s because they are a given. Who doesn’t want a partner with those qualities? Instead look back over your past relationships and think about something that’s really stood out for you. Maybe you’re looking for someone who has a real passion for life, or perhaps you’re looking for a partner who is happy to tackle problems in a relationship headfirst and as a partnership.
Other than appearance, what is the first thing that people notice about you?
This is one of the more frivolous sounding questions, but often provokes the most interesting responses. You can go serious or quirky here, it’s up to you. For example, you might want to say ‘My friends say it’s my ability to listen to anyone’s problems and relate’ or you could go for something more light-hearted such as ‘My booming, infectious laugh that I’ve been told can make the most serious of people smile!’
What is the one thing that people DON’T notice about you right away that you wish they would?
An opportunity to blow your own trumpet here, but don’t go overboard. You could talk about a physical feature such as ‘My unusually green eyes’ but beware of sounding arrogant. Perhaps focus on something emotional, for example: ‘My ability to remember people’s names, faces and details about their lives. It seems to endear me to people, but not many people notice.’
What are 5 things you “can’t live without?”
Have a look through your match profiles – we bet it won’t be long before you see one word answers to this question like ‘iPod’ or ‘Family’. The first answer sounds shallow, the second is pretty obvious. But, you can make both mean more to the reader. For example, talk about how you can’t live without ‘My gym tunes playlist on my iPod’. Or how about, ‘Sunday roasts with my family’? Yes you’ve only got 50 characters, but make them count!
The thing to remember is that more detail is usually better. Answers are made much more interesting to a potential match if you include an example to give it some colour. If a match likes your photo, they might be reading your profile to make their mind up – if that profile sparkles, chances are they’ll want to know more about you. Finally, be honest. Don’t write what you think your matches want to hear, be yourself.
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