The essential checklist for viewing your matches
When it comes to online dating judge people only on their appearance could mean we are missing out on people who might be perfect for us. Here are some ways to make sure you are really viewing your matches.
Trust the process
eharmony have been successfully matching couples for over a decade and the way we do it is based on 35 years of research and scientific experience. Dr Neil Clark Warren, founder of eharmony, spent years studying the difference between couples that were happy and couples that weren’t. The results of this extensive research formed the basis for the compatibility matching technology that is used by eharmony today.
All your matches are selected on key characteristics proven to be the foundation for long-term relationships like character, intellect, sense of humour, spirituality, values, beliefs, passion, and other key dimensions – these might not immediately come across in their profile but were evidenced in their questionnaire.
What many people do is dismiss the match because they don’t like the look of the profile picture and never take the time to discover if they were a good match. Try to let go of your own selection criteria and trust the process more.
Read profiles properly
Most of us skim read things taking in only about a third of the information that is there. If you really want to be successful it is important that you try to thoroughly read as many profiles as possible, even if that is only one or two a week. A way to make sure you are reading them properly is to print them out – we are more likely to skim read when information is on a computer screen. It is a good idea during the course of the week to print out any matches that catch your eye. Set aside an evening where you can put some music on, get a comfortable and settle down to read them in a relaxed, calm, atmosphere without interruptions.
Narrow it down
Sometimes too much choice is a bad thing and many people find it almost impossible to make a selection if there are too many options in front of them. You can adjust your ‘must haves’ and ‘can’t stands’ as well as the age range if you feel you are getting too many sent to you but then you need to find your own way of filtering the remaining ones. However you do it (randomly or with a system) try to narrow down your matches to just the few that you are going to read properly. Once you have read them select a couple each week that you are going to make contact with – these do not have to be ‘perfect’ matches on paper – maybe in person you will find that you are far more compatible than it first appeared. Think of this process as stepping stones that are leading you to your perfect match – every step is necessary and taking you a bit closer.
Look for the things you like rather than reasons to reject them
This is about your mindset. Often people are reading profiles; engaging in guided communication and even going on dates looking for reasons to reject the match rather than reasons to get to know them better. Making up your mind to look for the positive rather than the negative will go a long way towards increasing your chances of success. Unless there is some glaring problem or if someone is rude or offensive (report to Customer Care team if this ever happens) try to postpone judgement until you have at least seen the person face to face.
Not only can you email as many matches as you want on line but it is also perfectly acceptable to meet matches just for coffee. This serves two important purposes – you find out if there is any chemistry between you and you don’t get too attached to the ‘idea’ of someone which can happen if you spend too long chatting online. Once a month go for coffee with a match who you previously passed over, just to test the theory – you may be pleasantly surprised.
If this article gave you the confidence to find your match, try eHarmony today!Join Now