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eHarmony Cynics

Nicola and Paul

Mansfield, Nottinghamshire

Nicola: “After much deliberation I decided to join eHarmony. My cousin had met a lovely lady through the site and I had wondered about trying it out but somehow felt internet dating wasn’t for me. Still, I logged onto the website and started my research to see what was involved. It seemed quite thorough but I had my reservations. I am a professional lady and wondered how it might look to be internet dating? I mean just how good could a computer be at matching you? After much thought I decided nothing ventured nothing gained and completed the lengthy forms. After hitting the send button I immediately wanted to recall the submission, but after a few tense minutes the first few matches came through and my fiancée was the first to come up!

I was immediately taken with Paul’s profile and pictures but decided I needed to review the others before jumping into a conversation. I reviewed another 17 matches and then sent a message to him. I couldn't quite believe I had sent it, I mean what if he didn't like the look of me or my profile?! I felt ill with worry about the response I may get or even worse, no response. Amazingly Paul replied and instantly he responded to me in such a way I felt relieved and comfortable. Over the next ten days we emailed through eHarmony and I never revealed any of my personal details. We emailed about anything and everything. I remember sitting at my PC crying with laughter at his sense of humour and feeling moved by his caring and compassionate nature. We had similar views on most things that are important in a successful relationship and decided to exchange emails then after two weeks I contacted Paul by telephone and we spoke for over an hour. 

We arranged to meet at Meadowhall shopping centre and I was excited but nervous. After the breakdown of a 12-year relationship I had only been on a couple of dates and although I’m very outgoing I was suddenly very nervous. I drove to Meadowhall and had to have the air conditioning on full blast and could barely control my shaking hands and legs! I am very practical and although I have a romantic side, I’m a very no nonsense kind of person and found it ridiculous that meeting Paul for the first time was having this effect on me. I arrived at Meadowhall and Paul text to confirm my car registration. It was funny because I couldn't see him but he could see me and I was trying desperately to get a view of him before getting out of the car. I waited a few anxious minutes before getting out as Paul was walking across to me. I took one look at him and confessed my relief that he was everything I hoped he would be on first impression and we had a successful first meeting. From that point onwards we spoke on the telephone, emailed and arranged meetings. 

As we both have children from previous marriages we had to introduce the children to each other as it wasn't practical to meet as just the two of us all the time. Our children got along really well and both of us were worried it was all too good to be true. As time progressed we became more in tune with one another to a point it was unnerving. One Monday, Paul had spent the weekend with me and when I awoke he was smiling at me. He said, ‘I love waking up next to you and want to do that every day for the rest of my life.’ So we are getting married in February 2012.

I never anticipated meeting anyone, let alone finding someone so amazing and loving that I would be getting married again!  I will be immensely proud to call Paul my husband.”

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