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When to say I love you and how to make these words count

by Ian Prior - May 17, 2021

It’s an incredible feeling when you’ve found someone special – that someone who you can’t seem to picture your life without. Being around them is what you enjoy most. When you’re with them you are more open and life suddenly seems something you only want to experience with them.

Even if you have been in love before, new love is always exciting and fills you with new hope. Declaring love for someone is rarely easy. If you are wondering when to say, ‘I love you’, here’s how to recognise the signals to be honest about your feelings.

When to say I love you – 5 obvious signs to guide you

Often fear of rejection, low self-esteem, bad past experiences, or the fact that you are not sure of your feelings are the common factors that might stop you from expressing your love. But when you put those thoughts aside and are honest about your feelings, then you attain some clarity.

Here are some typical signs that will help you better understand and arrange your feelings:

  1. You are both on the same page
    You’ve been dating for a while, you’re grateful for each other, you’re compatible and you’ve made some sacrifices. These are huge signs that you are ready for a serious relationship. If you know your partner feels the same about you then perhaps they are just waiting for you to say those three words.
    Note: When you do say I love you to your partner, make sure it means the same thing to both of you. Your partner should not interpret it differently and immediately start looking for wedding venues.
  2. You both handle relationship challenges in a mature way
    Fights and disagreements are normal in relationships. If you care for each other even when you argue then it is a clear sign that you are in love. When you finally decide to say I love you, it only means you are taking the relationship to the next level; love was always there.
  3. You have great chemistry
    Aside from physical intimacy, you two share an undeniable emotional attraction and intellectual connection. This can contribute to the longevity of your relationship in a big way. Your gut tells you this person is your compatible companion.
  4. You have been on great dates together
    Since profound love needs time to develop, declarations of love shouldn’t come too early. It is fun to be spontaneous, but you should’nt rush into it and scare the other person away. On the other hand, if you have been through different dating stages and if you both can see the future together, then it’s safe to assume that love is happening.
  5. You can barely control your feelings
    If you are sure of your feelings and itching to profess your love, don’t be afraid of it. If you are certain about your relationship and believe it’s the next logical step, then don’t wait too long. So, when to say I love you? If you feel like you are going to explode if you don’t then just go ahead and say it. Love is all you want.

How to say I love you? Tips for different personalities and different approaches

These three words and eight letters hold endless possibilities. Choosing the right time and place is very important. Prepare your mind. Regardless of how they may respond, you should express your feelings when you feel the time is right.

Knowing when not to say I love you is almost as important as how you say it. Just before or during sex is the wrong time, likewise when you’re drunk. Avoid saying the L-word at weddings or on holidays because everything is likely to feel surreal and you may not feel the same afterwards.

Introverts in love don’t share their feelings easily as they have to overcome their shyness. They also, more than anything, value synchronicity and balance in a relationship.

  • Introverts think taking things slowly is always a good idea
  • They value deep conversations and that is how they connect
  • Love is often expressed more through actions than declarations

Recommendation: An introvert is more like to express their love in a more subtle way. So, how to say I love you to an introvert? Spend enough time together before confessing your love directly.

Extroverts in love value meaningful conversations. They tend to get bored easily but are more innovative as they seek out new experiences. They will do everything to win you over.

  • They prefer clear communications and are likely to be straightforward when they express their feelings
  • They take quicker decisions and generally want immediate gratification

Recommendation: If you are in love with an extrovert, you can expect reciprocal love and respect. They may well beat you to it and declare love first.

When to say ‘I love you’ is more about your feelings than a specific timing

Love has the power to make someone happy, hopeful, inspired and can change their life. So, when you decide to say the words, be sure you know you’re really in love. There are no hard-and-fast rules to choosing the right person or when and how to say ‘I love you’, but you should be absolutely sure of what you want.
Love yourself enough to choose the right person. If you are still searching for a perfect partner, then try eharmony. Its unique Compatibility Matching System will match you with someone who shares your core values. Saying ‘I love you’ to someone will be a lot easier.

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