Couple hugging as a sign of unconditional love

Is unconditional love ideal? Ways to know if you’ve found It

by Ian Prior - May 26, 2021

Receiving unconditional love is a great feeling. It involves selflessness and complete acceptance. You will easily open up to someone because you feel comfortable and secure around them. Have you experienced this feeling? Or, do you think it is impossible to love without boundaries? If you believe that to love unconditionally means deceiving yourself then read on to find out what makes this love so special.

The difference between conditional and unconditional love

Conditional love is being with someone you think is your ideal partner and who meets your physical, psychological, emotional, and economic needs. There are terms and restrictions involved. This kind of love does involve affection but can be selfish. Forgiveness and acceptance don’t come easily. When we love someone conditionally we want them to act and think in ways that fit our expectations.

Unconditional love is all about selflessness, acceptance, and forgiveness. You don’t consider the benefits or keep score. You support your partner and are there for them at all times. Love doesn’t go away when the going gets tough. It’s a path that leads to an ultimate union of two different individuals with similar life goals.

Love unconditionally – practising selfless love

So, what is unconditional love and what are the qualities of selfless love? When you can love without reservation, accept faults without judgment, care about the happiness of the other person and do everything to help them feel good without expecting anything in return, then you have discovered selfless love.

5 signs of unconditional love in a romantic relationship

1. They are protective and take care of you at all times

A supportive partner always has your back. It’s a sign of a healthy relationship if partners can rely on each other. Your partner will be protective but not possessive or jealous. They will always encourage you to work toward your goals and have a life outside of your relationship. Your little accomplishments are recognised and appreciated. In short, they are with you in sickness and health, in good times and bad.

2. You can open up and share your vulnerabilities. And vice-versa

When love has no conditions or restrictions, it’s easy to open up and be yourself. The relationship feels intimate, deep and safe. You share everything, even those insecurities you hate sharing.

3. They prioritise you and keep your needs above theirs

Does your partner put your needs before theirs? It doesn’t mean they have to sacrifice or compromise every single time. If there is understanding, mutual trust and respect, it means the love is true.

4. Disagreements do not lead to resentments

Conflicts are common in any relationship but if you can communicate your opinions without fear, find a middle ground whenever necessary and resolve issues in a mature manner, it means there is real love without terms or conditions.

5. They accept, forgive and move on

If and when you do fall out, your partner will forgive you and move on from it. They won’t judge you for your actions or try to change you. They focus on your positive aspects and accept you as you are. 

Dangers of unconditional love

It is not love if only one person is being responsible, compromising or forgiving. Being blinded by love and dedicating everything to a relationship has its own dangers. Below are three big risks of love without boundaries.

It will make your partner lazy

There’s nothing wrong with being a giver. But in a healthy, balanced relationship you should be getting just as much as you give. If you are the only one putting in all the effort, it will make your partner lazy. They tend to stop caring and lose interest, and the spark eventually dies.

You will feel emotionally exhausted

If you are over-giving in a relationship, being tirelessly accepting, complying with every request, apologising even for things you didn’t do, you are likely to feel emotionally exhausted.

It can diminish your identity and destroy your peace

If you allow your partner to walk over your feelings, or give up your happiness and dreams for the sake of love, you will eventually lose your identity. It can leave you feeling unworthy and unsure of yourself. If you invest way too much in a relationship and never openly communicate your discomfort, you will be taken for granted. Love does not mean you should accept disrespect, infidelity, or abuse.

Why honouring boundaries is important? 5 vital tips

Setting boundaries will help in establishing a relationship that is caring and mutually respectful – it paves a way for healthy, unconditional love. Here are useful tips for being responsive to your partner’s needs while also affirming your own.

  1. Communicate clearly: Boundaries can be emotional, financial, sexual, or even digital and they need to be communicated. Start with something that is not so overwhelming and name your limits.
  2. Create healthy space: Discuss how much time you need with yourself, friends, or family and how much time you want to spend together.
  3. Honor your feelings: Talk about the importance of your goals and dreams. Don’t give up your identity, self-respect, freedom of choice and financial independence for the sake of love.
  4. Discuss your sexual boundaries: Talk about what’s comfortable and what’s not. Clarify what you are willing to do and what you are willing to try in an honest way. Sexual boundary violation isn’t just unhealthy, it’s abusive. Talking about it is often key.
  5. Set social media boundaries: Have a conversation about sharing passwords of your gadgets and accounts. Set limits you both agree to. If sharing feelings and being with your partner is more important to you than posting a happy picture on Instagram, say it clearly to your partner. Share your concerns directly to them rather than invading their social media accounts.

Find Real Love Now!

Experience unconditional love with eharmony

When you practise communicating in a positive manner and when you don’t allow little setbacks to get you down, true love is not hard to achieve. Remember, romantic relationships need time and effort to thrive, it can’t be rushed into. If you want to find a compatible partner and meaningful love, try eharmony. With 20+ years of experience, eharmony has a long track record of success and happy couples. Join today, and find love that is unconditional with the help of eharmony’s unique Compatibility Matching System.

How it works

Your search for a great relationship has never been easier with groundbreaking overhaul of the eharmony you know and trust.