Dating an emotionally unavailable woman: know the signs
What does ‘emotionally distant’ mean? Ask any single who is trying to woo a emotionally unavailable woman. It is a challenge to attract someone who just does not seem to reciprocate your feelings – she may not value or appreciate you.
Love is all about mutual understanding – it’s a two-way street. If you have decided to give your heart to an emotionally detached woman, these tips will help you navigate effectively through this two-way street. These suggestions from eharmony experts will help you manage your situation like a pro.
5 traits of an emotionally unavailable woman
To establish a strong relationship you must first understand her behaviour. Here are five signs that you need to watch out for if you are dating an emotionally unavailable woman.
- She keeps a safe distance from you
No matter how hard you try, there’s a wall she has built around herself. She never lets you get close and really get to know her. Even when you are having a great time together you will find there’s a mystery or something amiss.
She seems to value her freedom more than the newfound friendship. There could be times where she is completely unavailable. She sends you mixed signals – you might have a close connection with her but the next minute she will become distant and cold.
- She avoids conversations or replies vaguely
One of the common traits of an emotionally distant woman is avoiding all sorts of conversations. When you try, she might appear irritated or might ghost you. She will often make excuses to avoid getting together, connecting, or catching up. You may find her secretive. She never talks about her past, plans for the future, family or friends, or about her work.
- She likes to take complete control
At times, she acts like a control freak who takes all your life’s decisions. She might not even bother about your feelings. She wants things her way.
She never relies on you for anything and does not ask your opinion even on the important stuff. She thinks being dependent on anyone makes her weak. She has her priorities and you are never on the list. This is a clear sign of an emotionally unavailable woman.
- She never compromises
Do you feel she has never considered your comforts or happiness? Then it’s an obvious hint that you are trying to woo an emotionally detached woman. She will never make any sacrifices or even small adjustments for the sake of your happiness. She blocks all empathetic impulses which makes you believe she is rude – someone who values her ego more than others’ feelings.
- She is an attention seeker
Have you noticed she craves the limelight?Does she exaggerate to get attention? Is her every small problem a crisis that demands immediate action?
An insecure woman feels she deserves to be treated like she is the center of the universe and gets frustrated when that doesn’t happen.
How can you attract an emotionally detached woman?
If you have lost your heart to this type of woman, these tips will help you get close to her.
- Don’t ignore the red flags. Sometimes they could be so subtle compared to the love you show her. Do a self-check. Are you emotionally available? Are you ready to date someone vulnerable? Make conversation and be upfront on what you want from the start.
- Be self-sufficient. An emotionally unavailable woman is attracted to a self-sufficient man. It relaxes her to know she won’t need a large emotional (or indeed financial) investment in you. When she realises you are not ‘needy’ and when you respect her space, she will begin to value you.
- Make your ambitions clear. Don’t jump into topics like making your relationship exclusive as this can terrify her. When she sees your goals are about making your life interesting or adventurous, she will like you. Discussing family oriented goals can be a huge turn-off for women who are emotionally unavailable.
- Make space for change. She will take time to adjust, to share thoughts, and to hold emotional space for you.
- Re-evaluate your decision. When all your efforts go in vain or if her responses are just making you feel lonely, invalidated, or even rejected, it is time to step back and revaluate your situation. Remember, her emotional unavailability isn’t your fault. Don’t try to manage it.
Is she emotionally unavailable? Spot the red flags and cope with it
Most people reveal their emotional availability early on, so pay attention to the signs. Even if she seems to be Mrs Right, yet is emotionally unavailable, your relationship can be emotionally draining. If she is responsive and tries to change herself over time, there is no victory like it. These tips will guide you from ‘the getting to know’ phase to ‘winning her trust’ and also protects you from emotional exhaustion. All the best from eharmony!