Dr Karin Anderson Abrell

Single Forever’? 7 amazing strategies to change your status

by Ian Prior - May 26, 2021

Have you been single way too long? Do you sometimes feel the need for a partner? Do you keep thinking and saying that love and relationships are not for you? Or are you wondering if you’ll be single forever as you read this?

If you are nodding to any of these then it’s a sign you have been alone for some time, but you should know that you deserve some attention and love all the same.

If you’ve decided you’re going to be single forever based on past relationship experiences, then it’s time to change your perception. We know single life can sometimes be rough and there are not-so-great parts of spending a long time on your own, so let’s help you change that.

Will I be single forever? 5 signs that scream for your attention

‘Just put yourself out there’, or ‘try using dating apps’ are phrases you hear often from family and friends, and you are understandably over it. You should not settle for anything less than what you deserve.

Here are some signs that may explain why you’re single. The hard thing to realise is that if you truly want to be in a fulfilling relationship, you may need to change a few things.

  1. You have set very high standards and/or you have unrealistic expectations
    You are very clear on what you want out of a relationship. And while it is good to have a set of criteria, you should remember that nobody is perfect. Unfortunately, the fantasy relationship you have in your head will often remain a dream and will not change your “single forever” status if you don’t bend a little.
  2. You compare everyone you date to your ex
    Either you still are not over your ex or it’s just that you’re protecting yourself from being hurt again, but you tend to compare situations and personalities a lot.
  3. You have trust issues and find it hard to deal with it
    You are great at spotting dating red flags and are also constantly judging. This will do more harm than good. If bitter experiences from the past have given you trust issues, you need to first overcome this to stop thinking you’ll be single forever and to start dating again. Trust is essential for a successful relationship.
  4. You are easily influenced by others’ opinions
    If people’s opinions are more important to you than your own gut feeling, it will be hard to find someone. Relationships require maturity and one of the strong traits you should display is being able to make a decision.
  5. You are too busy to date and are unavailable for emotionol investment
    You feel you are just not meant for dating and, moreover, you’re a busy person. If you feel dates are stressful and time-consuming, and you are happy without the constant string of boring first dates, it’s high time you change your viewpoint.

7 Actions to take if you don’t want to be single forever

So you’re ready to try dating again? These strategies will help.

  1. Don’t look for perfection
    There is nothing wrong with waiting for the perfect partner but you shouldn’t be too picky. After all, love is between people with different dreams. If you don’t consider the other person’s feelings and needs, you are likely to be single forever.
    Tip: Be the kind of person you want to date.
  2. Overcome shyness and socialise
    Being an introvert is one thing, totally cutting yourself from the world is another. Meeting and mingling are as important as your personal time if you want to date someone. If you are shy and absolutely cannot talk to strangers, ask friends to set you up with someone.
    Tip: With dating apps, interaction with people is easier. So subscribe.
  3. Work on improving your personality
    If you are someone who doesn’t like to share your world or you find it hard to leave your comfort zone, then finding a partner will be difficult. Be open to spontaneous plans and break free from your shell a little. Do everything you can to make yourself more presentable.
    Tip: Love entails physical and emotional attraction.
  4. Do not compare people with you ex
    If you don’t stop comparing people or situations, then you are holding yourself back from the many opportunities to find true love.
    Tip: Try to handle the break-up to let go of the past and embrace the future.
  5. Love yourself first
    Do you think love is something that happens to other people? Well, it’s time to be kinder to yourself. A relationship requires a lot of giving, and you can’t give away something you don’t have. Remember, love starts within.
  6. Stop saying ‘I‘m too busy to date’
    If you have a busy schedule and all you want to do or can do is get back home and rest, then dating is going to be almost impossible. When you’re open to meeting people anywhere and being less selective and selfish with your time, that’s when you’ll see how a relationship can fit in beautifully with your life.
  7. Be Patient
    Long-term relationships require patience and adjustments. Don’t be too greedy, go slow and don’t fear rejection, it’s part of the game.

Find Real Love Now!

Being single forever is a choice, but everyone deserves a happy, satisfying relationship

Dating is fun – meeting new people, exploring new places, and the excitement of a new relationship. But it also means putting in some effort, making a few compromises, and willing to be honest and open. Once you’ve found your special person, you’ll see that it just makes your life better.

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Life is a journey and it’s more fun when you have someone to share it with. If you are still looking, subscribe to eharmony where great dates and meaningful relationships happen.