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How to ask a guy out: tips and tricks to get you the

by Ian Prior - June 29, 2021

You’re a modern man or woman – you pay your own bills, can change a tyre no problem, maybe even do your own taxes… but there’s one thing that still feels a little intimidating: how to ask a guy out. Maybe it’s years of being told that some men don’t like someone else being the first to make a move, maybe it’s a fear of rejection… whatever, it’s time to forget all that and just go for it. And with our tips on how to ask your crush out, you’ll land that first date in no time.

How to ask a guy out over text

Texting is a great, low-pressure idea, if you’re not sure how to ask a man out. It has the advantage of not putting your crush on the spot and giving him time to craft a graceful out if he’s not interested. Some tips:

Be direct

Everyone appreciates someone who knows what they want. Often, the best way to ask someone out, even over text, is to just put it out there: ‘Hey, would you like to have dinner on Thursday? I know a great Mexican place.’ or ‘Hey, [that band you like] is playing at [local venue], want to go together?’ is much better than, ‘Hey, want to hang out sometime?’

Make it personal

Tone can be really hard to read in text, so make sure your message is tailored to him. Don’t just randomly text out of the blue to ask for a date; chat a little beforehand to get things rolling and let him know you want to see him in person.

Play off a common interest

Do you like similar bands? Art aficionados? In the middle of a fierce competition over who can eat the hottest chilli? Take advantage of that when you’re asking a man out – it’s much more likely to lead to a ‘yes’ than a generic invitation to ‘do something together.’

Leave room for a ‘no’

Nobody likes being cornered so make sure he has a way of saying no if that’s what he wants. An easy way to do this is to ask if he’s busy this week. If he says yes more than once? It’s a signal he’s just not that into you.

How to ask a guy out in person

Sometimes, it just so happens that the best way to ask for a date is face-to-face. Here’s some advice for how to ask a guy out without getting rejected.

Pick a time and place you’re comfortable

Maybe it’s during a party you’re both at, or when you’re all out with friends, or doing something together (though make sure you have an escape route in case you don’t get the answer you want). Being comfortable will show in how confident you are, and men love confidence.

Practice makes perfect

It sounds corny but we’re serious. Practising asking a guy out with a friend or by yourself in front of a mirror is a great way to overcome any shyness you might feel. Practising your lines is a great way to build confidence for when you actually ask.

Just ask!

Sometimes you have to just do it. Start off with a smile and compliment, and then ask, simple and clear, ‘Hey, would you like to have dinner sometime?’ or ‘Would you like to go on a date with me?’ Any guy would be flattered by the expression of interest..

If he says no: tips to handle it

You’ve mustered up the courage and asked… and he said no. So, how to deal with rejection? It’s okay to feel bad, and it’s okay if it hurts. What’s not okay is to keep trying until the no becomes a yes – you shouldn’t try to pressure him into it. Instead, treat yourself for being brave and taking a chance, then look for someone else who’ll appreciate your fabulous self.

How to get him to ask you out

Even though you’re the one who is hoping for a date, sometimes you just want him to do it as a reassurance that he likes you back. So here’s how to nudge him in that direction:

Keep a smile on your face and your body languages open

Our bodies send signals our brains are barely aware of. You may really like that guy over there, but your nervous face and crossed arms tell a different story. So try smiling and keeping your body language more open (leaning towards him, hands in your lap or moving to make a point) – that will likely get you message across more clearly.

Flirt… but just a little

Everyone always needs a little encouragement. So, make and keep eye contact, pay him a compliment or two, put a hand on his arm if you’re feeling daring. But don’t overdo it – the point is to get him to ask you out, not scare him off.

Ask him about his weekend plans

There’s a time for subtle, and there’s a time for… well, not subtle. Ask him what he’s doing over the weekend. With any luck, it’ll be something you can join in, and he’ll ask you to of his own volition. If not, asking him about it later will show him you’re interested… a sentiment he’ll hopefully respond to by asking you out.

How to ask a man out: seize the date!

It’s a common refrain – aren’t you afraid you’ll intimidate a man by asking him out? Well, then maybe he’s not the right guy for you. You should be confident in your decision to ask him out. Sign up for eharmony and get started on meeting your perfect guy today.

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