Man kissing woman with face in hand as symobl for how to kiss

How to kiss: tips to make that first kiss memorable

by Ian Prior - May 26, 2021

What’s in a kiss? Quite a lot, actually, given that 90% of people remember their first kiss, according to a study by scientists at the University of Texas1. Whether romantic, awkward or somewhere in between, a couple’s first kiss is an important relationship milestone. So it’s no surprise that you might wonder how to kiss. Here are a few kissing tips to make that first one special.

How to prepare for a kiss

Unexpected kisses have their charms but a little bit of preparation can take a kiss from good to great. Some kissing tips to make your smooch spectacular:

 Check yourself first

Take a quick glance in the mirror before you leave the house to meet your date. Make sure there are no leftovers between your teeth. Moreover, don’t ruin what would have otherwise been a great first kiss with rough lips or bad breath. So, have a tube of Chap Stick and keep a tin of mints in your pocket.

Extra tip for men: Make sure you’re either clean shaven or that your beard is soft and well-groomed.

Keep the ambience in mind

There’s a reason why there are few stories of first kisses in parking lots or supermarkets. Location matters and while it doesn’t mean you need to hold off until you’re in an uber-romantic restaurant, do take the time to make sure your surroundings match what you’re about to do.

Read your date’s body language

Now all that remains before knowing how to kiss, is to check whether your partner actually wants to be kissed. If straight-up asking feels too intimidating, or not smooth enough, pay attention to body language instead. Someone who wants to kiss you might find excuses to touch or lean into you. They could drop kissing in general into the conversation, or even straight up ask themselves. Whichever it is, follow their lead to start your kiss off right.

How to kiss: 8 tips to take it to another level

The scene is set, the mood is right and you decide it’s time to go for it. Then your brain screeches to a halt because even with all the first kiss tips you’re not sure how to actually kiss your partner. It might be you’re a little unfamiliar with the mechanics of a good first kiss, the right technique or approach, or even what to say to keep it from being awkward and nuking any chance of a second kiss. Read on for some tips to make kissing even better.

1. Consider the type of kiss you’re going for

Not all first kisses have to be on the mouth. In fact, there’s a lot to be said for a peck to your date’s cheek or a kiss to their knuckles, forehead or shoulder. Before you kiss someone, try and match the kind of kiss with the situation – a kiss to the tip of their nose as you take a seat next to them, one to the back of their hand as you watch a movie together, the barest graze to the pulse point of their inner wrist if you want to (subtly) tease them.

2. Talk about it

Communication is so important when you ask yourself how to kiss. Especially, when it comes to making sure everyone involved is okay with what’s going on. It’s also a good idea to talk to your partner about what you liked and what you didn’t, or if you’d like them to do more or less of a particular thing.

PRO TIP: This can be really hard, but it’s important, especially if you’re planning on doing more than kissing. Making sure you’re on the same page means your relationship will be stronger from the start.

3. Start slow

When kissing someone for the first time it’s always best to take it slowly. Your bodies don’t know each other yet and exploring can be a lot of fun. Going slow also means you give the other person time to react if they don’t like something – and if they do!

4. Keep your eyes closed

We’re not sure when the whole eyes-open thing started, but we can officially say it’s way past time to retire it. Close your eyes when your lips meet; it’ll allow you to focus on the sensations and amp up the chemistry between you and the person you’re kissing.

5. Don’t rush; take it step by step

It’s easy to let kissing fall by the wayside in pursuit of other, ahem, pursuits, but you shouldn’t let it. Not only does kissing release oxytocin – one of the two “happy hormones” – it’s a great way to connect not only physically but also emotionally with your partner.  

PRO TIP: As your relationship progresses, carve out time to spend just kissing. It’s a low-cost way to spend time together and it makes you even more eager for when things get a little more heated up.

6. Use your hands

The most nerve-wracking thing about how to kiss? What to do with your hands. You can wind them around the other person’s neck and play with a strand of their hair, or place them lightly on their hips if you’re feeling daring.

PRO TIP: if your paramour is wearing jeans, or anything with belt loops, hooking your thumbs into the loops and pulling them close is an unexpected – and fun – way to get in their space.

7. Get comfortable

There’s nothing that’ll harsh that post-kiss high like a crick in the neck or a sprained shoulder. Don’t be afraid to move your partner around, or ask them to move around, so that you’re both comfortable. Especially, if you plan for one kiss to become two or three or more.

8. Be in the moment

If there’s one tip you take from this article, let it be this: all the articles on how to kiss won’t help if you aren’t willing to be present, to slow down and actively be in the moment. Remember that a kiss, along with a sign of romantic interest, is also an expression of trust and vulnerability. Take the time to enjoy it like you both deserve.

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Know how to kiss and make it an enjoyable experience

Kissing is many things – a way to connect, an expression of desire – but above all it should be fun. And with these tips you’llmake kissing an even more enjoyable experience for you and your partner. eharmony does the legwork of finding potential partners for you, using our unique Compatibility Matching System to make sure that the chances of you two connecting are high. So, sign up for eharmony and prepare to put those kissing tips into action today!

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