play it cool

Playing hard to get – who doesn’t love a challenge?

by Ian Prior - May 14, 2021

Playing hard to get is all about a bit of extra excitement. When you want to pursue someone, would you like a challenge? Do think chasing after someone who is sending confusing signals is fun?

There is no denying most of us love the thrill of the chase. The anticipation and the rollercoaster of emotions make the dating game fun. Ultimately, will you be able to make that woman or man fall in in love with you?

What does ‘play hard to get’ mean?

‘Playing hard to get’ is when someone you are interested in pretends to be inaccessible, feigns indifference or sends you confusing signals. Their goal is to make you invest more time and effort before they will consider a relationship.

Rather than trying to keep his interest by playing hard to get, cultivate a genuinely varied and busy life. People who keep themselves occupied with hobbies, classes and activities sound more intriguing than those who claim to be ‘super busy’ all the time. The truth is that if you have a varied life filled with commitments then you won’t need to play waiting games.

For example, a woman who is interested in you may not say yes the first time you ask her out. She will not shut you down entirely but might say she is busy. It may be that she does not want to seem too eager, or that she does not want to rush into a meaningless relationship.

So how do you know if they view you as a romantic prospect or not? And how do you make them fall in love with you?

Playing hard to get – Is it worth the risk?

There is no evidence that playing hard to get makes a relationship successful but it can be an effective strategy. Does it make sense to play this game when you know for sure you like him/ her? Know the rules, the pros, and the cons.

The pros

It is exhilarating when someone works for your attention. After all, nothing in this world can be achieved without effort. The fun of this game is both the chase and the catch feel good.

  • It helps build and sustain commitment
    Playing hard to get can help both partners figure out if there is potential for a serious relationship. In the early stages, it can be hard to gauge your partner’s commitment level and playing hard to get is a test to check if your partner is willing to go that extra mile to be with you.
  • It enhances attraction
    It has the power to attract a man or a woman. When you engage in this game, the ‘getting to know’ phase is more fun. Without instant gratification your partner won’t be able to get enough of you. Hence he/she will crave your time and attention.
  • It keeps you in control of the game
    This does not mean you should be a controlling partner. This means when you have got your partner’s attention, you have a chance to decide on how things should progress.
    Should you go to that party? Hmm….maybe next time. The trick is not to leave them in the dark for too long and risk losing them.

The cons

  • The game can leave people confused
    Giving cryptic answers, being mysterious or being apathetic for a long time can confuse your partner. Cancelling plans at the last minute and avoiding calls and texts can cause disappointment.
  • You can appear too hard to get
    Overdoing the approach of ‘too hard to get’ can leave your partner emotionally hurt. They are likely to think you are involved with someone else and they don’t stand a chance.
  • When it backfires you risk losing them
    They are likely to move on and not try any harder. When someone is looking for a serious relationship, they will not tolerate behaviours such as cultivating a potential mate’s attraction and deliberately disregarding it later. It looks like mind games.

5 great strategies – make them fall in love with you

How do you keep the thrill of the chase without appearing a pushover? These strategies will help you achieve that delicate balance.

  1. Rephrase your words – If you are interested, ask things like “want to hang out?” instead of asking them on a dinner or a cinema date. When you make subtle advances, the thrill of the game increases.
  2. Give hope but don’t be always available – Outright rejection of your partners’ suggestions is rarely a good strategy and you don’t want to leave them crushed. But suggesting valid alternatives to their plans keeps them interested, while signalling they will have to work hard to gain your approval.
  3. Don’t answer texts immediately –show them that you have your own life. Delaying a response will create some tension and they will know that they need to put in some extra effort to win you over.
  4. Don’t reveal everything at once – Show that you have a fulfilled life without them. When you start dating, don’t get too clingy.
  5. Give attention, but maintain some personal space –You don’t miss someone who is always around you. Spending time apart makes the other person value you more and want you even more.

Find Real Love Now!

Adopt honest strategies and win the dating game

Making someone fall in love is not easy but the process can be fun and memorable if you play it right. Preserving your value in a relationship is essential to keep the spark alive. Make each other work to preserve the passion, be yourself and above all, be honest.
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